That's why I enjoy the snowboarding event. I went snowboarding once. Broke my arm after about 20 minutes.
Now I get to sit in my couch, saying shit like "fucking hell what a shit landing" when someone doesn't perfectly land a 1800 degree spin.
this post was submitted on 13 Feb 2026
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You know, I was a snowboarder once. But then I took an arrow to the knee.
Their challenge: do a triple backflip and land backwards without wobble.
My challenge: make it out alive.
My challenge: get out of bed in the morning.
I find groaning as you do it helps.
Curling?
A lot of people fall when learning to curl. Remember that you’re still walking on extremely slippery ice.
With one slippy shoe. Trying to hold a kneel while pushing an 18kg weight.
But that 18kg weight is on extremely slippery ice
If you're not paying attention, imagine one of those granite blocks clattering into your ankles...
Ice skating itself would probably break me. But on top of that, I'd trip over the random boulders people keep leaving on the ice.
I think i could make an olympic luge record no problem. Of course the record would be quickest someone has fallen off luge. Might also be in contention for most distance covered with face scraping against ice as my body tumbles down the chute.
I think I could survive curling. I’d probably pull a bunch of muscles but I’d survive I think. Might slip and fall on the ice too, let’s be honest.
I tried it once, it was strange but fun. Depends heavily on the company though.
Some of the Summer Olympic events would be safe enough, I think
I don't imagine I'd hurt myself in the 100m dash, especially if I wasn't trying very hard
Winter Olympics, though! I might be able to get through the biathlon unscathed, but only because I have some previous riflery experience
Don't they also have regular old cross-country skiing in the winter Olympic games? That's pretty safe
Is this a MacOS Lock Screen background?
Watching the Olympics, I am frequently preoccupied with this thought myself
And you'd look like a complete idiot
I think I could hang in curling and biathlon without getting injured. I'm sure I'd never win, but I wouldn't die!