this post was submitted on 11 Feb 2026
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One of mines:

All the kids had a name, all except

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[–] CyberMonkey403@lemmy.ml 1 points 54 minutes ago

I couldn't get my wife's attention the other day. So I sat down, got comfortable.

That did the trick.

[–] m532@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 hour ago

What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are Wanted.

[–] nikosey@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

time flies like an arrow. fruit flies like a banana.

why did the little old lady fall into the well? she couldn't see that well.

[–] SkellyMonstera@lemmy.ml 4 points 9 hours ago

My wife threw a bottle of omega-3 capsules at my head. It's okay, I only sustained super-fish-oil injuries.

[–] Infrapink@thebrainbin.org 3 points 9 hours ago

What do you get if you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

PunchlineNothing. You can't cross a vector with a scaler

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 1 points 9 hours ago

The United States of America

[–] onlooker@lemmy.ml 3 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Yo mama so fat, when she fell in love, she broke it.

[–] eldavi@lemmy.ml 3 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

your mama so fat, her blood type is ragu. lol

[–] crawancon@piefed.social 1 points 2 hours ago

mama so fat Thannos had to snap twice!

[–] Foxfire@pawb.social 12 points 1 day ago

As someone who loves puns and other dad joke type humor, puns feel very much situational and a part of improv. They're great in the moment when you quickly think of something that gets the crowd groaning, but I can't just dig them up with no buildup and get that same feeling.

For example, I could tell you ten random puns without context to try and make you laugh, but more than likely, "no pun in ten did."

[–] snappy90@feddit.uk 11 points 1 day ago (2 children)

What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft.

A flat minor

[–] ReCursing@feddit.uk 7 points 1 day ago

What do you get if you fling a piano intro an army camp?

A Flat Major

[–] davel@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 day ago

This would be even more effective as a dead baby joke.

[–] ryathal@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

I see said the blind man, as he picked up the hammer and saw.

im on a seafood diet

i see food, and if its a fish i eat it

[–] ieatpwns@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I don’t get your joke and it’s hurting my brain

Nevermind got it. All the children loves poetry except Tina she can’t rhyme

All the children crossed the river except Kim she couldnt swim

[–] greenbelt@lemy.lol 1 points 22 hours ago

Joke: Epstein killed himself. (Sorry I am terminally online)

[–] Monster96@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Does music ever make you wonder? It certainly made Stevie Wonder

[–] tomiant@piefed.social 1 points 1 day ago

Something about a man fucking goats.