this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2026
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A hospital in Toulouse, southwest France, confirmed Sunday they had treated a man who was admitted with a shell lodged in his rectum -- after calling a bomb disposal team.

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[–] MantisToboggon@lemmy.world 40 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Is that how the three seashells work?😐

[–] Gsus4@mander.xyz 13 points 3 days ago

I think he tried too hard...

[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 25 points 3 days ago
[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 26 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Ohhh, THAT type of shell.

I respect the man for not lying about it, at least.

[–] tal@lemmy.today 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I think that if you show up at the hospital with a shell vanished up your rear, probably one way or another they're gonna figure out that there's a shell up there.

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

But what if you use the cli?

I'll be here all week

[–] Bot@sub.community 13 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Not that shell. The other kind, the one that goes boom.

[–] Bot@sub.community 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Only if it's blessed by a priest before rapid distribution, otherwise it's just sparkling feces.

[–] Bot@sub.community 1 points 3 days ago

That’s mighty Catholic

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

I was on the edge of my seat, wondering, Sea, clam, snail, tortoise, coconut, or secure.

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

He probably thought he had nothing Toulouse trying that 

[–] Dremor@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

And wanted to do something Nice to himself.

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 3 days ago

I doubt he was compus mentus, he probably had a few Alés in him 

[–] EpicMuch@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 days ago

This is not how anyone ever wants to show up on the news, let alone internationally

[–] djmikeale@feddit.dk 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Wow he must have felt quite BASHful getting that procedure done

[–] slothrop@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] djmikeale@feddit.dk 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] slothrop@lemmy.ca 2 points 3 days ago

Should have ctrl+d exit.

[–] riskable@programming.dev 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Everyone that said they "dropped a bomb in the toilet" is just a poser. This guy is the real deal.

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 2 points 3 days ago

Don't nobody go in there for 704 million to 1.4 billion years.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'm disapointed they didn't mention the calibre. Was it a 50BMG cartridge? A 12.7mm machine gun shell or a 155mm artillery shell?

[–] aramis87@fedia.io 7 points 3 days ago (3 children)

The team in the operating room found themselves having to extract a “collectible shell nearly 20 centimetres long” (nearly eight inches).

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 6 points 3 days ago

Everyone knows it's a myth that length is important. Women of discerning taste and frenchmen of questionable apetites need girth! ;)

What's the diameter?

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

"Everything's a dildo if you're horny/brave enough." - man.

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

That Mario Lemieux sure had a way with words.

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago
[–] eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 3 days ago

Oh it's not part of the Iron Harvest, this guy was using a dud on himself, meh.

[–] miss_demeanour@quokk.au 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Why would they use a shell in his rectum instead of a colonoscope?

[–] XTL@sopuli.xyz 1 points 3 days ago

Treatment is different in France.

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Was reading about this on local news yesterday and it's already here?! Poor lad... Even with our stringent laws regarding patient confidentiality, it's gonna be hard to live it down.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

almost as hard as living with unexploded ordinance stuffed in your rectum.

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

On the plus side, he won't have to literally pay for it for the rest of his natural life. I wonder how much that would cost, in the US.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

the same amount it would cost when an unexploded ordinance explodes in your rectum.

an arm and a leg.

[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 2 points 3 days ago

Situation was a bit HEATed, I would venture...

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

Here I was ready with a 1000 mollusk jokes, but I'll clam up as it's not that type of shell.

His gas has to be deadly, did he bomb the toilet before going to the hospital? At least he's OK and the doctors now have Somme more war stories to tell about this guy.

Rectum, hell it killed 'em!

[–] raman_klogius@ani.social 3 points 3 days ago

My guy is definitely shellshocked after this.

[–] sturger@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 days ago

This isn’t even the first time someone went to the hospital with an explosive round stuck in their asshole.

[–] moondoggie@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

“I slipped in the shower and fell on it.”

[–] QuentinCallaghan@sopuli.xyz 1 points 3 days ago

Damn you were fast, I was about to post about this!

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

Why do I know this?