this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2026
547 points (98.8% liked)

Funny

13307 readers
1549 users here now

General rules:

Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] unrealMinotaur@sh.itjust.works 52 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

As always, there is an XKCD for this (#3123, Cannon)

Title Text: Achilles was a mighty warrior, but his Achilles’ heel was his heel.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

The original original meaning of canon was "measuring rod" or "straight stick," tho.

[–] faythofdragons@slrpnk.net 3 points 2 days ago

Is this why they call big boom sticks cannons?

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 4 points 2 days ago

It’s actually fanon if fans are developing the lore rather than the original creators.

[–] Okokimup@lemmy.world 110 points 3 days ago (8 children)

I told a coworker once that m&ms were my kryptonite and she went and gave me a huge bag of them. I don't think the average person understands what kryptonite is.

[–] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 60 points 3 days ago

Saying something is your weakness is common to say it's something you enjoy so much you can't help yourself.

[–] JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.blahaj.zone 68 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Missed opportunity by not dropping dead at the sight of them

[–] FiskFisk33@startrek.website 38 points 3 days ago (1 children)

"Oh no, aaagh, now I'm vulnerable to small arms fire!"

[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

In hindsight it’s good superman never needed surgery as a kid. 

[–] Droechai@piefed.blahaj.zone 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

When he did need a fake tooth extraction he used his heat vision to puncture the sedation gas tube to drug the dentist

[–] nomy@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That seems incredibly unsafe, is Supes qualified to administer the gas?

[–] Droechai@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Worst part is that he only wanted it to fake medical procedures as reinforcement for his Clark Kent persona. This was when he was in school (iirc, i read the comic from my fathers collection as a child) so couldnt possibly have gotten any qualifications for sedation yet

Edit: I think it was golden age supes, iirc he also faked bad eyesight and a broken arm in the same comic. Anyone else knows which story Im recalling? Which one was it? He was planning to send a robot for any later dentistry appointments which lacked the tooth

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

Clearly written by someone who never read the Evil Overlord List.

[–] lath@piefed.social 24 points 3 days ago

Forbidden pleasure that you're too weak to hold back from.

[–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 15 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

She was hitting on you, kryptonite makes you weak in the knees and vulnerable for her to attack.

[–] hoppolito@mander.xyz 2 points 2 days ago

oh like, literally hitting?

[–] GaMEChld@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

Maybe they did understand and just wanted you to die.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

Wouldn't it be you who's using the word wrong? Or do M&Ms literally make you weak/kill you?

[–] 4am@lemmy.zip 8 points 3 days ago

I mean, they do. They’re not exactly there for the nutrition.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You now are locked in a wicked battle of the wits with your own personal nemesis.

[–] sbv@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Damnit. I always wanted a nemesis and this Lemmite just casually picks one up with a throwaway comment.

[–] FluorineBalloon@programming.dev 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That... That sounds exactly like something my arch nemesis would say! Someday you shall face the wrath of... The Procrastinator!! Mwoooohahahaha!

[–] sbv@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago

I see. A nemesis who waits to strike from the shadowy future.

I won't stand for it! I'll stop you before you even start, Procrastinator!

[–] gustofwind@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

The average person is actually illiterate like in a legitimately does not understand language beyond a 5th grade level kinda way

[–] ThatGuy46475@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

Lana, these crabs this time were not my fault, this whole place is

You were going to say lousy with them

I was, until I realized that’s

Where the expression comes from

[–] nocturne@slrpnk.net 37 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It was posted to Peter Explains The Joke and the poster was banned for it.

(The blacked out area is an ad)

[–] Justifier@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

If you're on Android, check out RedReader

No mo ad

[–] MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

Fuck Reddit and Fuck Spez.

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 27 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

But what is Achille's Achille's heel?

[–] deHaga@feddit.uk 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] BrazenSigilos@ttrpg.network 4 points 3 days ago

Same as Odysseus

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 3 points 2 days ago

His brotherly love for Patrocles, obv.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 25 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Superman has never died from Kryptonite but he has died from getting punched in the face by a big dude with boney hands.

[–] Onyxonblack@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 days ago

Not quite true. In an old Legion comic, Lobo grips a shard of Kryptonite he steals from Lex Luther and punches straight through Superman's chest and heart, killing Supes. You don't mess with the Main Man!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] OmegaPerseidTwitch@piefed.social 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I know the person was either actually dumb, or trolling, but reddit really bams people for nothing. That's why I'm here not there.

[–] hayvan@piefed.world 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

This one seems to be bammed for a valid reason though.

[–] OmegaPerseidTwitch@piefed.social 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Because Reddit has no sense of humor, and should the case be this person actually doesn't know reddit chooses to be dicks instead of helpful? Nah. I reported Reddit for the pedophilia pictures found on there daily and left anyway. The mods pretend to be gods, the site is run by a CEO who is a pedo, and it is just a trash site. Even honest questions get you banned. Asking why you got banned gets you site wide banned. I can keep going but the bottom line is this was not a valid ban reason.

[–] guy@piefed.social 21 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I think the banning was hilarious and a sign of humour

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 7 points 3 days ago

And also not banned by reddit but a mod of the specific subreddit.

Also is it a legit ban or just a comment? I haven't seen this version of the reddit UI before

Lex: It's called...Kryptonite.

[–] mental_block@lemmy.wtf 9 points 3 days ago

The answer is Magic!

[–] wrinkledoo@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 days ago

Pink kryptonite

[–] Kenny2999@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago
[–] WoodScientist@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Turns out it's actually just sodomy. Sodomy is Superman's kryptonite.

[–] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Lois could never have Superman's baby. Do you think her Fallopian tubes could handle his sperm? I guarantee he blows a load like a shotgun right through her back. What about her womb? Do you think it's strong enough to carry his child?

The second she gets a suntan the kid'll kick right through her stomach. The only person with a uterus strong enough to carry his child is wonder woman. That or he wears a kryptonite condom, which could kill him..

[–] Murdoc@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago

Ugh. I'm not even supposed to be here today.

[–] hessenjunge@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The only person with a uterus strong enough to carry his child is wonder woman.

… well, there’s his cousin for one…

That would solve the cat problem

Bad writers.

load more comments
view more: next ›