this post was submitted on 25 Jan 2026
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parenting

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Parenti-ng Chat 1/25 - 1/31 (hexbear.net)
submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by RedWizard@hexbear.net to c/parenting@hexbear.net
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TO MY SON AS I CONTEMPLATE MY DEATH

Upon my departure grieve not too fiercely, for casting across that spaceless light like Saturn's orbit dimmed by distance, waiting to touch you, I shall be transformed— only that.

After a life answering its call,

fretting over shadows on the cave wall

for vain promises not really desired,

yet with sense enough to pit a middling talent

against majestic goals, a small walk-on part for a better world.

Now to find beyond the dark passage

a world of luminous wonder and joyful comprehension of things you and I pondered when you were scarcely ten years old, surmising that the personality cannot capture the soul,

but the joyful soul remembers the personality.

I'll not hesitate to re-enter

but shall move in another time,

urging your guardians to perfect diligence,

cheering you on from across a mute universe.

Yet grieve a little,

for who knows what deposit of love can survive that distance?

When even the prodigy of your metaphysics and the protective ferocity of a father's heart cannot produce certitude,

when one's composition is immolated by time,

never to recompose, never again these hands, these eyes, a dreadful certitude that creates the pain of doubt.

So I ask you, in your later years,

in a quiet moment,

to keep the memory of our company and our struggle,

and the loyal unfinished love,

each for the other.

Ciao bambino

In the fading cosmic light

two little boys embrace good night.

— Michael Parenti, the last entry in Dirty Truths.

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[–] RedWizard@hexbear.net 3 points 2 days ago

New Parenting Thread!

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[–] tombruzzo@hexbear.net 2 points 1 hour ago

Sometimes I fell like memes and the internet has ruined my brain a bit too much. We watched Aladdin a while ago and I kept thinking about that skate or die meme.

Then we read a Slinky Malinkie book and every page ended in 'THEN' which made me think of the drivethrough scene in Dude, Where's My Car. I've only watched that movie once around when it came out.

Now my kids have been playing with some hotwheels truck so you know I keep thinking about two trucks.

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 2 points 1 day ago

I let my kiddo make a big kid decision and keep her monthly trip to stay at her aunt's this weekend. We lucked out and the winter storm wasn't too bad here, but damn was I anxious the whole time lol. I packed her a shit ton of nonperishables and a flashlight with extra batteries and stuff, too. Super lucky that there weren't widespread power outages here!

Waiting for the iced up roads to melt a bit before I pick her up.

[–] RedWizard@hexbear.net 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

Well I was going to say we were out of power, had to get the wood stove fired up after a long time of not using it, but bow the power is back on! (Still got the wood stove going. I should really use it more.)

Parenti has made such a huge impact me as an adult, I can't thank him enough for opening my eyes to so many truths about the world. His influence will live on in the way I talk and tech my kids about the world.

I need to gather a collection of his books.(both digital and paperback).

[–] duderium@hexbear.net 4 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Fuck I wish we had a wood stove, we are fucked if we lose power because we can’t heat anything without electricity.

My kids are teens / preteens and have become obsessed with american football despite my spouse and I having no interest in it and little interest in watching sports (my spouse will watch a soccer game or boxing match maybe once a year). Isn’t that bizarre?

[–] waitaminute@midwest.social 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I realized this week that my furnace can unplug and so I bought a generator to power it and some gas. I did about a nights of panic searching the best way to heat a house if the power goes out.

There were some mini propane units that can be used indoors with the window cracked. I almost got that. It’s about 150 dollars. It was called big* buddy.

If you happen to have a gas furnace you can look into changing the switch on it to a switch and an outlet, some owner did it before me, I am guessing for this reason.

I too envy the wood burning stove. I would order so much wood and just stock it for emergencies. What a wild world we live in.

[–] duderium@hexbear.net 1 points 1 day ago

Definitely make sure you have a carbon monoxide detector.

[–] RedWizard@hexbear.net 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Isn’t that bizarre?

Are you American? Its pretty strange regardless! It's easily one of the worst spectator sports. So many ads! I hear baseball at least has a pitch clock now, making games fly by.

Is it just because your not interested in it?

[–] duderium@hexbear.net 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

It’s seemingly because all their friends are interested in it. For me, football is something that old white guys do while drinking and smoking and it’s basically the only thing they care about. My kids evidently associate it with other things. And yes, sadly I’m a seppo.

[–] RedWizard@hexbear.net 2 points 1 day ago

Damn you just described my late grandfather. I mean he had other interests off season LOL. But smoking, drinking, sitting in his arm chair, watching the game. That's how I remember him half the time.

[–] RedWizard@hexbear.net 1 points 2 days ago

Annnnnd its back again! For now... 🤞

[–] RedWizard@hexbear.net 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Annnd we are out of power again lmao. Fuck.

[–] waitaminute@midwest.social 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I hope it comes back on soon!!!

[–] RedWizard@hexbear.net 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Me too. It's cozy by the wood stove, but a little chilly upstairs. The longer this goes the morei have to consider dragging the generator out in the dark and cold. It's not a lot of people out in the state but that was true earlier too. They might have less trucks on standby this late. They say crews are in the area but is been a couple of hours and no updates yet.

[–] waitaminute@midwest.social 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

At least for me if I pull the generator out it proves that we needed it and I didn’t buy it unnecessarily. One day I will be thankful for the thing…. I hope.

[–] RedWizard@hexbear.net 3 points 2 days ago

Just make sure you start it up every 6 months or so to prove it works!

[–] waitaminute@midwest.social 2 points 2 days ago

That poem is beautiful and I am not ready to think about it too deeply.

I lost my parents while I was pregnant with my child and so it was an overwhelming amount of life going and coming. Oddly enough, today I was looking at photos of my father with his mom and counting what age he lost her at. 11. I can’t imagine that happening to my kid, or my father.

I think the world has me thinking about death a lot, but it is a lot to process and I guess it has to happen eventually. What a tough world we live in.