I didn't realize this was the onion, the US is fucked
this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2026
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Took me waaaay too long to notice it was the Onion. Fuck, this is depressing...
Since when is the onion reporting facts?
Satire is now classified as domestic terrorism.
I've finally done it. I ate the Onion for the first time.
Got me. Only because that's sort of what they've been saying all along, moving that goalpost. It's not a stretch.
Since about 2016.
Okay I ate it.
is it even an onion that we're eating at this point? This shit is pretty much how it's been these past few days based on the videos that have been going around...
Ate it? I had it served on a plate and brought to the table by a fancy waiter suggesting a wine pairing.
Fairly convincing almost real article, however:
“Make no mistake: Anything and everything Americans do, from the second they wake up to the second they fall asleep, will be treated as a national security threat and dealt with accordingly,” said Noem
The part where being asleep is not domestic terrorism is unrealistic.
But why? It’s the opposite of woke….
Does this apply to actions on January the 6th ?
some restrictions may apply
"Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition, to wit: There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect."
Of course not
Not funny anymore
Anything we do? Like breathing?
(I ate the onion)
Or asking questions.
Looks like I ate the onion..
Damn you Onion, you got me today.
You guys stole the Venezuelan president, but did you have to steal the Venezuelan government tactics too?
They brought him in, but as an advisor.
That was a military coup. They put their generals in charge leaving a puppet government, to be led to sign over assets. When resistance forms to looting resources the military will likely do the old collective punishment to villagers with paramilitary death squads paid by cia fronts sellung drugs and guns. Classic us military really.
It is a template they filled in the blanks. That op was not possible, with helicoptors, unless the military stood down, there is no question.