this post was submitted on 11 Jan 2026

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ICE Agents Surge Into Minneapolis, Immediately Thwarted by Actual Ice (fuelarc.com)

submitted 3 days ago by KayLeadfoot@fedia.io to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

76 comments fedilink hide all child comments

As ICE agents surged into Minneapolis, they found actual road ice to be more than a match for their wits and driving skill.

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[–] Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io 43 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I just love this:

"So, if you find you get stuck in 3-inch-deep snow… for starters, don’t do that. That’s not much snow. It’s embarrassing to get stuck in so little.

A few extremely basic notes:

Don’t kick the gas pedal like these ICE agents are doing. Slow and steady.
Turn on 4WD. Obviously.
If you don’t have 4WD, whatever, you should be fine. It’s really not that much snow.

If you’re stuck and can’t dig yourself out with the shovel you carry for this exact purpose, flag down a friendly Midwesterner to pull you out. Some flannel-clad hoonigan like me will happily pull you out with a rescue strap.

This works way better if you don’t have a reputation for killing unarmed women in the city you’re in, so ICE might be SOL"

[–] KayLeadfoot@fedia.io 10 points 2 days ago

If I stop posting because I've been sent to camp, just know... I did it for comments like this <3

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

My damned Honda Fit can get out of 3" of snow

[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 5 points 2 days ago

My old Chevy Cruze with shitty touring tires was okay until the snow got deep enough that it bottomed out on the snow. Its more driving skill and generally being willing to slow down a little and take it easy than your suspension or drivetrain that get you through the snow

[–] ebolapie@lemmy.world 112 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (4 children)

I don't see what the big deal is. Go slow and leave plenty of following distance. Fucking duh. They used our money to buy themselves giant 4x4 suburbans and even with every advantage they can't drive in winter conditions? Pathetic

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 68 points 3 days ago (2 children)

“Instructions unclear. Shot the ice, shoveled as much of it into the back of the van as possible.”

[–] suodrazah@lemmy.world 41 points 3 days ago (1 children)

A few days ago I would have made a joke about them not shooting the ice/snow because it's white. So much for that!

[–] FauxLiving@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

They would shoot it if it was black ice

[–] cheesybuddha@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

That menacing, life robbing, black ice! A perfectly safe neighborhood can be terrorized by the appearance of black ice!

[–] cheesybuddha@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

I like this mentality, but from from your average citizens please

[–] purplemonkeymad@programming.dev 33 points 3 days ago (3 children)

A 4x4 will give you extra power. But not extra stopping power. My guess is they assume that they could just drive normal due to this.

[–] ebolapie@lemmy.world 34 points 3 days ago (2 children)

As one would expect from the common dumbass who drives a full size SUV. And before anyone gets a bruised ego, no, not everyone who drives a full size SUV is a dumbass. But it would seem that most of them are.

[–] arrow74@lemmy.zip 16 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Basically everyone in a full size suv is a dumbass. Most people use them as a daily commuter when a sedan would be just fine. Given the added purchase cost, maintenance costs, and fuel costs they might as well just be burning money.

Reminds me of how my dad is obsessed with wanting a SUV large enough that he can tow with. He hasn't towed anything outside of work ever. He's going to buy a car that's way more expensive and costs more in gas so he could theoretically one day tow something. Man doesn't even own a trailer

[–] bearboiblake@pawb.social 12 points 3 days ago

but have you considered that the line wouldn't go up if people weren't manipulated into buying things they don't need?

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[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@piefed.world 13 points 3 days ago

Most drivers are barely driving anyway

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Saw a used car with AWD for sale with the ad saying that AWD is better for acceleration, cornering AND stopping in slippery conditions.

I honestly wanted to ring the dude up and ask how it would help with the stopping, given that it's heavier than the RWD version of the same car and they both have exactly 4 wheels worth of braking power.

[–] Markus29@feddit.nl 9 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Manual drives are more common here, when you brake on the engine 4 wheels are decelerating instead of 2 so that could help.

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[–] JcbAzPx@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

I've lived most of my life in a desert. Still managed just fine the few times I've had to drive in a couple of inches of snow. These idiots have no excuse.

[–] Rakonat@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

Using common sense and critical thinking is the antipathy for GOP and supporters of the regime. Follow all orders post haste

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 78 points 3 days ago (2 children)

It's like an unwritten law that if you can get someone get unstuck, you do.

You would have to be incredibly disliked to be heckled after getting stuck.

[–] Inucune@lemmy.world 32 points 3 days ago (1 children)

"can't park there, mate."

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[–] CLOTHESPlN@lemmy.world 25 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Lived here most of my life, there is no like about it. Everybody can be at the mercy of the weather and if you can help somebody you do. I've had strangers help me twice with shovels, sand in their car, pushing etc. You would have to be a massive dickhead for people to not help you, and a despicable kind of human to be heckled for it.

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 20 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I was being very... Polite... With my descriptions.

Another telling sign? The traffic passing by must have contained MAGA. It was, at least, alive in rural Minnesota. Those are the people who have the massive equipment nearly always.

I don't know why they pass, but they clearly don't want to be recognized as the one who helped ICE out.

I firmly believe Minnesota was targeted because of Walz and the fact that the state has never voted for a modern GOP presidential candidate. It's retribution. And if there is one thing I think even the MAGAts don't appreciate its when they are caught in the crossfire.

[–] Rakonat@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Few of the maga folk I know here in MN are in disbelief of what the facists they voted for are doing, particularly in their own state. It's all I can do not to rub their noses in it and say I told you so. But I already know they are still voting GOP in the midterms and 2028 regardless so it's not like they've learned anything.

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[–] KayLeadfoot@fedia.io 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Yeah, lived here most my life, and while I've never gotten stuck where I needed the assist, I am that stranger with a shovel.

For locals to not help is deeply non-normal and inhospitable behavior in the Midwest.

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

Inhospitable behavior is a great way to describe it, because that's the goal.

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Ice on ICE violence. Nazis on ice. The jokes write themselves

[–] Butterphinger@lemmy.zip 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Nazis on ICE

"mooom can we go see Nazis on ICE?"

groooooan, Frozen on ICE, now this shit

[–] BotsRuinedEverything@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

Fascists' ancient enemy: winter

[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (5 children)

Ok, there's a Field Office 5 minutes from my home, and I just had an idea. What's a super slick hard to remove liquid one might be able to pour on concrete? Preferably clear.

[–] Bakkoda@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Mineral oil. Cheap too.

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[–] discocactus@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

I mean. In freezing temps, water. Just loosen a fire hydrant.

[–] eah@programming.dev 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'll have an answer for you just after I finish re-watching Home Alone.

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[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 20 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Leave it to the Donald Administration not to recognize basic laws of physics and, maybe, the necessity to make logistical changes.

Hopefully the next headline is about how an ICE vehicle slid off a cliff.

[–] TheGoldenV@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Sadly Minnesota is mostly flat.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I heard they might have a few lakes though.

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[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 32 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Not much snow in Texas.

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[–] lurch@sh.itjust.works 18 points 3 days ago

if you ever wondered where all those morons who can't drive and can't put the correct tiers on work...

[–] ReHomed@lemmy.cafe 9 points 2 days ago

Absolutely fucking hilarious

Imagine spending all of your effort trying to look like this badass gestapo and you get your shit handed to you by FROZEN FUCKING WATER

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 20 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

Poor choice of tires and no chains. This might be a 2WD model

[–] liran@lemmy.world 33 points 3 days ago (1 children)

We don't chain in MN. We're flat enough it isn't necessary. This is 4 inches of slush and shouldn't be a problem.

If you're not allowed fascist asshole, folk will come out and help you when you get stuck.

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 16 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Ah. I'm in Wyoming where no chains or 4WD equals a bad time.

[–] NeilBru@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

This past early autumn, I was just in the Idaho/Montana/Wyoming region visiting Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons before the government shut down.

What a gorgeous area. I really wish I was wealthy enough to keep a residence there. I've only been there once before as a child. The pictures don't really do it justice.

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[–] mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca 11 points 3 days ago

Even with bad tires you shouldn't get stuck in that. driver skill issue.

[–] Mpatch@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

Chains? Realy? Okay there drama queen take it easy.

[–] actualaccount@sopuli.xyz 11 points 3 days ago

Earlier this morning I thought it was an article from The Onion. It is in fact, not.

[–] DylanMc6@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

ICE agents skid on ice

[–] orbitz@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Hah yeah lived up north (Canadian so adjust perception of North and South) with a mustang (not gt but rwd), you gotta be careful on road ice hell even light but of snow can cause issues. I'll say I've driven with a few vehicles before that so knew how to handle better than the southern types when it snowed occasionally and used to see people in ditches on off/on roads to the highway. That was something I'll always remember, seeing those vehicles in the ditch, just hit the gas a bit too much.

Like you don't even get people who know how to drive as a federal agency? Keystone politics. This may be only a single incident and never happen again, but only reason it's news is cause they're doing a blitzkrieg and can't even drive their cars. Sums up the entire administration.

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