Orrrrrrrrrr, and hear me out......
You build a tiny replica house so that the fly isn't homeless. Then he'll leave you alone.
this post was submitted on 06 Jan 2026
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Build him a garage and leave the door open and watch him lose his mind trying to get one of his buddies out of it.
My go-to trick is to get a water bottle that sprays an aerosolized mist and just spritz the area liberally.
Most insects(?) can't fly with wet wings and become easy to handle.
Add something a little viscose to the solution like a mild cleaning product to gunk up their wings. Then SPLAT!
but then i will feel bad when i change it to long range squirt mode and get the mean outside cat with it
Dude... WTF?
i only got so many squirt bottles and i gotta defend the homestead. that cat attacks my cats.
I never kill flies. I just feel bad. I do, however, trap them in a glass beaker and release them outside. It's super-easy, you just go slow. Once they settle, slowly lower the glass over them. Then slide a bit of card between the glass and the surface and transport them outside.
Honestly, I have no idea why I do this. Maybe I subconsciously hope these small acts will balance my karma and somehow negate my illegal IPTV subscription.
I try not to kill anything but flies (overwhelming in the summer), cockroaches inside, and fire ants (invasive and destructive). I refuse to use poisons or herbicides, only fire ant bait.
Keep on! I've seen our insect populations crash since I was a child and the upstream ecosystem is suffering. Young people would be fucking appalled if they emotionally knew what I knew, seen what I've seen.
But good news! Our yard is the only reason we have frogs and dragonflies back on the block! More to come.
There are these particularly annoying flies that I encountered in Florida. When they land you can blow on them which will cause them to hunker down and brace against the wind leaving them vulnerable to a swat
Interesting technique
Hey it's me ur fly
I didn't know I was supposed to get a crushing hand. I only got these two flimsy ones.
tbf Crushing Hand is quite a high level spell, can't blame you for not having it known/prepared
context
Crushing Hand is a spell from 3rd Edition and earlier Dungeons and Dragons
You could also just shoo them outside. I'd prefer to not have fly guts all over my hands, and I don't really have the need to kill every fly I see.
If you're careful with it you can grab them when they take off without squishing them. I do catch and release like this it's much faster than trying to shoo them outside, plus the window doesn't need to be open for long so less likely another one wanders in during the process
When one starts to annoy me when I’m in my living room I shut off the lights in the house and open the door to the garage and turn the lights on in there. Usually less than a minute before they fly out of the dark house and into the bright garage. Same can be done with porch lights and the such if you have an apartment.
This is my tactic for getting a mosquito out of the room. Never knew it also works on flies!
I don't really have the need to kill every fly I see.
It's less a need and more of a pleasure thing.
also soap exists
I just blow em away with this bad boy. Best 50 bucks I ever spent. So much entertainment.
Bug-a-salt is the key. It's especially satisfying when you snipe one out of the air.
I've got one! Annoyed my wife leaving salt all over the kitchen window sill.
Yeah, cleanup is annoying, but I think it's worth it.
Kids broke the laser pointer, makes it really hard to use. But the SATISFACTION. :)
I've been hitting em with iron sights the whole time! My buddy has the laser tho, and it is useful
Was going to say the same. I’ve had a few of these over the years (they’re cheap plastic and break). But they are amazing.
I have a moth problem right now but they are no match for this. The salt gets sprayed like a shotgun blast and will get them as long as you shot in their general area.
I also use it on spiders. Every summer I have black widows around the house and this thing works wonders on them.
Just try not to drop them or keep the salt loaded in them too long. Those two things seem to be what has killed my previous ones more often.
Pro tip, you can mix kosher salt in with table salt for a deadlier load.
Ooh, double-aught bugshot!
Move slow enough too and a fly won't percieve you moving very well. Benn Jordan's video about what the world sounds like to different animals taught me that. Flies basically live in constant bullet time.
11 minutes in for the insect segment: https://youtu.be/Gvg242U2YfQ
You talk like someone who doesn't have carnivorous plants.
😂
Also, their night vision is terrible.
Any kind of spray you have lying around should make their wings too laden to fly. Simple Green, Windex, Axe Body Spray, etc. Could probably just be a spray bottle with water too.
Then you can do what you will with them.
Can confirm this works. I used to astound all of the waitresses when I was a dishwasher because I could swat a fly every time without fail.
Man... I'm way to tired. I red your post as "Houses" (without the fly part) and I was so confused why you want to catch a house and if this is some kind of surreal post. Nope, just can't read, houses can't jump.
And I somehow managed to read “house fires” and I was confused how fire launched backwards for a moment.
I like to get a dishcloth and whip them.
clapping with both hands works too
"Mom, mom" —said the little fly— "humans really like us, they saw me and started to clap non-stop"