I think congrats are in order. This joke is the first sign that OP is becoming a dad.
Funny
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Taking cash is all you do? You don’t don’t make bagels? Are you thieves? Or do you mean to say you take cash in exchange for bagels?
It's just silly to refuse cream cheese, because cream cheese can make.... wait for it... bagels!
I would be bartering all kinds of condiments of I were a bagel shop owner
IDK where you live but if something like that happened here, it would be 100% a provocation by sanitary inspectors.
In an imaginary world without government, sure, I'd barter all the time
If the woman came with a friend, that would be the tax inspector
I personally like our food regulations. Without them, going out to eat would be a game of diarrhea roulette.
It still is, for me at least. I checked google reviews after getting shits from eating out and the reviewers did a better job than any sanitary inspector that may or may not have visited them. Fuck Google, but crowdsourcing beats the nepo-bribery complex.
That’s a good point. Since it can still happen sometimes, we might as well give up and let it happen orders of magnitude more often.
I'd like to think there IS a universe out there where cheese is currency.

hate to break it to you but that's how economy operates in many places under russian occupation. people literally just barter stuff most of the time.
You mean civilians in war zones?
yup. not even war zones themselves - the economy in the frontline cities is actually kinda booming but deeper into the occupied zone barter is basically the default outside of few cities.
Why Russian occupation? This is common throughout the world.
just one example among many. that's it.
Still doesn't make sense. Why do you "hate to break it to you". A bagel shop would still not accept cream cheese as payment even in communities that trade goods.