this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2025
457 points (96.5% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 68 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Please don't shit in the restrooms, I take unofficial breaks in there

[–] FatVegan@leminal.space 27 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I hate it when i just want to take a break but it smells like shit

[–] Opisek@piefed.blahaj.zone 12 points 2 weeks ago

That's when you get to explore the office building to find new restrooms.

[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

We have a "flush as soon as it hits the water" rule at my job.

[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

I remember when I blew my exes mind with that trick. She went to the bathroom after me and couldn't understand why it didn't smell

[–] Zoot@reddthat.com 30 points 2 weeks ago

Thanks Obama

[–] abbotsbury@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

is the date cropped because it's from today? because it seems like you went looking for the first post with greentext for the purpose of submitting anything

[–] Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

No, that sounds like a lot of effort and I have plenty. Greentexts have varying degrees of weirdness. Sometimes anon is an offensive degenerate, and sometimes he just wants to tell you about his work bathroom.

[–] abbotsbury@lemmy.world -5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I know what greentexts are, just because I think yours is low effort slop doesn't mean I need it explained.

[–] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 5 points 2 weeks ago

This is commentslop.

[–] stray@pawb.social 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Does greentext need to age before it's palatable?

[–] abbotsbury@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] SorteKanin@feddit.dk 1 points 2 weeks ago

What is the point? Genuine question.

[–] bus_factor@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I thought 4chan was dead? Are people posting green texts somewhere else now?

[–] abbotsbury@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

A) 4Chan isn't dead

B) Greentexts are a part of imageboard culture in general

[–] bus_factor@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Ah, I see now that they brought it back after a couple weeks.

[–] lka1988@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 weeks ago

You expect effort in a greentext post?

I come here to laugh at the idiots on 4chan, not think.

[–] mech@feddit.org 17 points 2 weeks ago

A~~r~~n~~az~~on

[–] Bosht@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I honestly don't get it. Is this like an anti joke thing? It's funny because it's literally just a shit post about restrooms existing?

[–] stray@pawb.social 5 points 2 weeks ago

It's also pleasantly wholesome to thank the bathroom. Appreciating the small things in life is a healthy mental habit, and it's just nice to see Anon being healthy.

[–] rizzothesmall@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 weeks ago

A fine shitpost

[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

Poopin on company time!

[–] nek0d3r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

4channer with hygeine? Fake and gay

[–] hedge_lord@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Okay but plumbing for waste disposal is actually insane. You're telling me that this weird looking chair takes my poop and just... makes it disappear? Takes if off of my property entirely?? They process it so it doesn't stink up everything??? Kids these days take it all for granted!

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Ngl collecting it in a bucket has its perks. You can use it as manure.

Also with egg prices these days you need an alternative during halloween.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 weeks ago

You would not want human manure. Human manure will eventually kill you. Pathogenic bacteria, viruses, prions, parasites, amoebas, heavy metals, plastic, the list could go on for ages but these are my biggest concerns. You will eventually contract a horrific illness from human manure, and it will cause you to wither to a husk before killing you. 0/10, do not recommend.

[–] Jollyllama@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

On site no less.

[–] falseWhite@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Why is it called a restroom? No one goes to rest there. Why is it not called a shitroom?

[–] stray@pawb.social 9 points 2 weeks ago

I don't know about men's rooms, but in the past is was the norm for women's rooms to have little lounges where women could literally rest and recover from the difficulties of being so delicate and inferior.

I've seen some modern versions that seem to primarily be for breastfeeding without randos leering at you, but they're not common in any of the places I've lived.

[–] cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I do sometimes. Wash hands, touch upmakeup, sit for a minute after using facilities.

[–] falseWhite@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Are there chairs in women's toilets for resting? Or do you just sit in a toilet booth on the actual toilet to rest?

[–] ViaGetty@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 weeks ago

Cushioned benches! It's often quite cozy, but they added a breastfeeding/rest room recently and I just nap in there now

Suspended ceilings are pretty normal, the privacy and countertops make them easy to reach. I like to just lurk up there. Not over the stalls, obviously. I'm not a creep.

[–] Haaveilija@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Now that would be a shitty name :(

[–] FridaySteve@lemmy.world -1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Because restroom is less crude. Being crude where it's unnecessary is associated with antisocial behavior.

[–] Honytawk@feddit.nl 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah but restroom is a weird name that doesn't convey its purpose.

Call it the porcelain throne room if you want to be less crude.

[–] Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

In asia, the whole room is called toilet or wc.

[–] serenissi@lemmy.world 0 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 6 points 2 weeks ago

Water Closet, but its always abbreviated