doomer

With me it's more like I don't particularly enjoy being around most people. Covid made me very, very aware of how much people are willing to throw their neighbors to the wolves.

For me the biggest thing is i can strike up a conversation and shit but idk what to do after that, how do i turn it into a more regular friendship and not just "we see each other at this specific place but dont know anything about each other"

The only thing that helps me is thinking about objectively, there are much more positive and neutral interactions than there are awkward/negative ones.

And the only reason I tend to focus on the negative ones is because that's what humans do, avoiding a negative is always "better" than getting something positive, in a survival kind of sense.

And so I force myself to remember the good interactions again and again, and well, eventually it's become more of a habit than remembering the negative ones.

for me it's the way others act towards me.

For me it's more I find everyone annoying and frustrating and decide I prefer being in my room alone.

I'm guessing for the majority of people my go-to strategy for this doesn't work...

"Fuck.. that was awkward, eh?"

Probably doesn't help the rumination either but often times an awkward tension can turn into a good chuckle when it's addressed like that. Do a joe biden impression "aw man, shouldn't have said that jack" or something idk

Maybe you've just not found many people worth being friends with

This is why I brew beer.

I invite 5-10 people over to brew and cookout. Sure, almost noone ever shows up. But then I just drink beer.

I am just like this, except that my defeatist attitude has led to me doing the second step less and less.

ITT: most common answer is “I don’t like being around people”

I think this is the wrong approach and a skewed view of the world which is very unhealthy. A person that spends a lot of time on the internet will start to shift away from the things that contribute to a healthy quality of life.

People can suck, but assuming everyone sucks is a deeper issue because this just isn’t true you’re projecting either your own dissatisfaction with the world on everyone or you’re maladjusted to society because of how comfortable you’ve become online. This online version of yourself takes the forefront of your life and every interaction you’ll have.

The internet cheats this way and keeps you addicted, even this platform is guilty of it because for every “good” post you make you get people that like your post or comment. Tell me where you get that sort of satisfaction in real life? You can but it’s a different kind of interaction but there’s also a chance for people not to like what you say in person. There’s a liberty be who you want online and say what you want because of the facade of anonymity, but this only makes it harder for you to break out of the online space. If you become too attached to the online persona you curate you’ll obviously have a harder time adjusting to societal norms the most important of that being socializing with humans.

You’ll be surprised how much having one conversation with someone you just met in person can really change your outlook on life and discover most people don’t suck at all.

It's challenging. I think putting myself in embarrassing situations intentionally has helped me the most with it, as well as keeping notes of what factually happened vs what I was imagining in my mind. It's still very difficult for me, but it's become easier, once it started clicking with me that usually nothing bad happens if I embarrass myself.

Fun brain hack: try to remember a conversation you had in your life where the person you were talking to said something YOU found embarrassing. Not a chud or a dipshit saying something bigoted, but a friend or coworker saying something you felt was awkward or embarrassing and made you think less of them.

Personally I can't do it, I don't remember anything like that. And it does make me feel better when I think about it.

I just don't want to bother anyone.