this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2025
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[–] SuiXi3D@fedia.io 38 points 3 days ago (1 children)

HOCUS POCUS, YOU CAN NO LONGER FOCUS!

I CAST… ADHD!

[–] TehBamski@lemmy.world 19 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Wait, I already have ADHD. Does that make my ADHD, Super ADHD?

[–] SuiXi3D@fedia.io 21 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Congrats, you’re now autistic as well.

[–] applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 3 days ago

You're not going to believe this. I already have both. What do I get? Super audhd?

[–] Zoomboingding@lemmy.world 24 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] ordnance_qf_17_pounder@reddthat.com 28 points 3 days ago (1 children)

anal sex with a ribbed condom

100s of pleasure dots

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 20 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Deep rectal itch

I counter with Bigby's Vibrating Finger

[–] InnerScientist@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

It's super effective!

@UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world has fainted.

[–] dumbass@piefed.social 21 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] TehBamski@lemmy.world 30 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I've spent a minute thinking about this reply and have come to the conclusion that it works both ways.

Sure, you could flip me off for casting this on you.

Or... you're alluding to the use of your middle finger to reach as deep as you can to scratch that deep rectal itch spot.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

Or they might want to fuck you to get rid of it.

[–] dumbass@piefed.social 3 points 3 days ago

You got it spot on!

[–] djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 3 days ago

I can think of some ways to get it scratched

[–] teft@piefed.social 14 points 3 days ago (3 children)
[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 12 points 3 days ago

Magic Missle 😳😲😯🤪😁

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 7 points 3 days ago

Hey can you tickle yourself with magic hand, please answer this is very important

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

Mmm, the magic finger 😏

[–] Rooskie91@discuss.online 13 points 3 days ago

Sit on a grave and use Raise Dead.

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Scratch it with a cucumber and then throw the cucumber at you.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Scratch it with a cucumber then take a big bite of said cucumber while maintaining Gowron levels of eye contact.

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

Not 20 Intimidation Check

[–] aislopmukbang@sh.itjust.works 12 points 3 days ago

this is what magic wands are for. Staves for the more experienced

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Scoundrel! I cast Last Season Of Your Favorite Show Never Gets Made.

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

IVE FOUND YOU. TONIGHT YOU DIE

[–] agent_nycto@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I SUMMON CARBRON THE TRICKSTER GOOD TO SWAP OUR BUTTHOLES

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

Oh sweet I'm a virgin again

[–] ulterno@programming.dev 10 points 3 days ago

I eat Fig potion

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 8 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

*Grandma preps her toolkit*

Suddenly that itch isn't so bad after all... now that you really think about it. "It's fine grandma...false alarm."

[–] TonyTonyChopper@mander.xyz 8 points 3 days ago
[–] pigup@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] Deconceptualist@leminal.space 6 points 3 days ago

Not to get political or anything, but is this castable with a radius? Like say if we wanted to AOE a certain godawful parliamentary body.

[–] DamienGramatacus@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I cast Mage Hand and scratch it then.

Jk, I don't cast Mage Hand.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 9 points 3 days ago

I, as a mage, just use my hand.

"Mage Hand".

[–] webp@mander.xyz 4 points 3 days ago

I cast restart PC

[–] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

I cast Swamp Ass!

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 3 points 3 days ago

I follow with "fingers are fish hooks"

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 3 points 3 days ago

Finally my calling.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] TehBamski@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

In DnD, nearly anything is possible. So why not this? ¯\(ツ)