this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2025
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HOCUS POCUS, YOU CAN NO LONGER FOCUS!
I CAST… ADHD!
Wait, I already have ADHD. Does that make my ADHD, Super ADHD?
Congrats, you’re now autistic as well.
You're not going to believe this. I already have both. What do I get? Super audhd?
anal sex with a ribbed condom
100s of pleasure dots
Scoundrel! I cast Last Season Of Your Favorite Show Never Gets Made.
IVE FOUND YOU. TONIGHT YOU DIE
Deep rectal itch
I counter with Bigby's Vibrating Finger
🖕
I've spent a minute thinking about this reply and have come to the conclusion that it works both ways.
Sure, you could flip me off for casting this on you.
Or... you're alluding to the use of your middle finger to reach as deep as you can to scratch that deep rectal itch spot.
Or they might want to fuck you to get rid of it.
You got it spot on!
I can think of some ways to get it scratched
Scratch it with a cucumber and then throw the cucumber at you.
Scratch it with a cucumber then take a big bite of said cucumber while maintaining Gowron levels of eye contact.
Not 20 Intimidation Check
Sit on a grave and use Raise Dead.
this is what magic wands are for. Staves for the more experienced
I cast magic hand.
Magic Missle 😳😲😯🤪😁
Hey can you tickle yourself with magic hand, please answer this is very important
Mmm, the magic finger 😏
I SUMMON CARBRON THE TRICKSTER GOOD TO SWAP OUR BUTTHOLES
Oh sweet I'm a virgin again
I cast Mage Hand and scratch it then.
Jk, I don't cast Mage Hand.
I, as a mage, just use my hand.
"Mage Hand".
I eat Fig potion
*Grandma preps her toolkit*
Suddenly that itch isn't so bad after all... now that you really think about it. "It's fine grandma...false alarm."
Not to get political or anything, but is this castable with a radius? Like say if we wanted to AOE a certain godawful parliamentary body.
Use prune
I cast restart PC
I cast Swamp Ass!
I follow with "fingers are fish hooks"
Finally my calling.
Rectal can itch?
In DnD, nearly anything is possible. So why not this? ¯\(ツ)/¯