this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2025
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[–] Zoomboingding@lemmy.world 24 points 1 day ago
[–] SuiXi3D@fedia.io 37 points 1 day ago (1 children)

HOCUS POCUS, YOU CAN NO LONGER FOCUS!

I CAST… ADHD!

[–] TehBamski@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Wait, I already have ADHD. Does that make my ADHD, Super ADHD?

[–] SuiXi3D@fedia.io 20 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Congrats, you’re now autistic as well.

[–] applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 day ago

You're not going to believe this. I already have both. What do I get? Super audhd?

[–] ordnance_qf_17_pounder@reddthat.com 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)

anal sex with a ribbed condom

100s of pleasure dots

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Scoundrel! I cast Last Season Of Your Favorite Show Never Gets Made.

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

IVE FOUND YOU. TONIGHT YOU DIE

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 20 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Deep rectal itch

I counter with Bigby's Vibrating Finger

[–] InnerScientist@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

It's super effective!

@UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world has fainted.

[–] dumbass@piefed.social 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] TehBamski@lemmy.world 30 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I've spent a minute thinking about this reply and have come to the conclusion that it works both ways.

Sure, you could flip me off for casting this on you.

Or... you're alluding to the use of your middle finger to reach as deep as you can to scratch that deep rectal itch spot.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Or they might want to fuck you to get rid of it.

[–] dumbass@piefed.social 3 points 1 day ago

You got it spot on!

[–] djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 1 day ago

I can think of some ways to get it scratched

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Scratch it with a cucumber and then throw the cucumber at you.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Scratch it with a cucumber then take a big bite of said cucumber while maintaining Gowron levels of eye contact.

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Not 20 Intimidation Check

[–] Rooskie91@discuss.online 13 points 1 day ago

Sit on a grave and use Raise Dead.

[–] aislopmukbang@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 day ago

this is what magic wands are for. Staves for the more experienced

[–] teft@piefed.social 14 points 1 day ago (3 children)
[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 day ago

Magic Missle 😳😲😯🤪😁

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 day ago

Hey can you tickle yourself with magic hand, please answer this is very important

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Mmm, the magic finger 😏

[–] agent_nycto@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I SUMMON CARBRON THE TRICKSTER GOOD TO SWAP OUR BUTTHOLES

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Oh sweet I'm a virgin again

[–] pigup@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] DamienGramatacus@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I cast Mage Hand and scratch it then.

Jk, I don't cast Mage Hand.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 day ago

I, as a mage, just use my hand.

"Mage Hand".

[–] ulterno@programming.dev 10 points 1 day ago

I eat Fig potion

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

*Grandma preps her toolkit*

Suddenly that itch isn't so bad after all... now that you really think about it. "It's fine grandma...false alarm."

Not to get political or anything, but is this castable with a radius? Like say if we wanted to AOE a certain godawful parliamentary body.

[–] TonyTonyChopper@mander.xyz 8 points 1 day ago
[–] webp@mander.xyz 4 points 1 day ago

I cast restart PC

[–] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

I cast Swamp Ass!

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 3 points 1 day ago

I follow with "fingers are fish hooks"

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 day ago

Finally my calling.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] TehBamski@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

In DnD, nearly anything is possible. So why not this? ¯\(ツ)