U wish that was a fart
this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2025
215 points (88.8% liked)
Funny
12458 readers
1693 users here now
General rules:
- Be kind.
- All posts must make an attempt to be funny.
- Obey the general sh.itjust.works instance rules.
- No politics or political figures. There are plenty of other politics communities to choose from.
- Don't post anything grotesque or potentially illegal. Examples include pornography, gore, animal cruelty, inappropriate jokes involving kids, etc.
Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
12 if she says Waluigi.
11
sauce for the background image?
'A ten' or just 'ten?' Rather worrying.
Never had a girl fart on my balls, bet it feels amazing.
10 on the bottom
11 on top
I would probably cum from laughing.
Read that as "she's ten". Did a double take.
same here, for a second I asked myself "ok where am I right now?"
It would explain something I guess.
Porque no los dos
I wonder how many guys who think they can be selective about the “date” and “marry” zones are even a 5 (assuming bell curve distribution).
I dated a redheaded preacher's daughter once
Did it work out?
No. Too high on the scale.
He's still alive, so I guess so.
This reminds me of an ancient YouTube video drawing nearly the same chart.
The chart is obviously based on the video, the parenthetical in the danger zone is a dead giveaway.
So how exactly are you supposed to move someone from the fun zone?
Hey girl I'm having great fun with you. If you get a facelift we can start dating?
you break up with them
Usually there's a temperature knob you can adjust.
Hot is not only physical. It's also mental, you may find traits on your partner that move them around for you.
Alcohol
You want to date someone you find unattractive?
Btw, the whole thing is more tongue-in-cheek.
Who's tongue in who's cheek being what makes it hot.
Hot ⬆️
➡️
Crazyfarts on my balls
🤮🫠
probably feels amazing tbh
the ears thing seems weird
Maybe she is an alien.
One day, a space ship landed in a farmer’s field and a Martian man and his wife got out and introduced themselves to the farmer and his wife. As a token of his friendship, the farmer immediately invited the Martian couple in his home and begged them to stay for the evening and have dinner, so the Martians agreed.
Later that night, the Martian man explained how, on their planet, it was customary to swap partners as a token of friendship.
The farmer, not wanting to offend his alien neighbors, readily agreed.The Martian then man took the farmer’s wife into one bedroom while the farmer took the Martian woman into another.
They had been having sex for about an hour when the Martian man asked the farmer’s wife, “Well, how do you like having sex with a Martian? How does it feel?” The farmer’s wife replied “It needs to be a little bigger around.” So the Martian man twisted his right ear and presto, his penis became bigger around.
About an hour later, the Martian man asked the farmer’s wife again “How does it feel now?” The farmer’s wife responded “I think it needs to be a little longer.” So the Martian man twisted his left ear and presto, his penis became longer.
The next morning, after their alien neighbors had left, the farmer and his wife were having coffee at the breakfast table and the farmer asked his wife “How was the Martian man?” To this, the farmer’s wife replied “Fine.” “And how about the Martian woman?”
The farmer replied, “That damn bitch yanked on my fucking ears all night long!”
Only if you don't play Mario Kart. Sick ref otherwise.
Yeah, that's the weird thing.
I'm not seeing a problem here
No, you'll hear it, and then probably smell it.
Ok, but will she share her Netflix password?
She will make an account for you on her Jellyfin server
... it's nothing but Fake and random episodes of Jojo, isn't it?
That is acceptable.
From personal experience, not enough people appreciate this.
Swoon