I like to offer chopping services, i can do that someplace else without being in the way and still do something helpful
this post was submitted on 08 Nov 2025
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This right here you are an amazing person keep it up.
We love cooking together but it usually means she cuts an onion very very slowly and tells me a story, while I cut the rest and cook the food. But we still love it both spending time together this way.
This is how it's done!
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If you haven't cooked professionally before, or are "just trying to help", you're darling for wanting to contribute but likely unaware of the added complications you're bringing to the effort. π π€·πΌββοΈ
They're not useless, they're front of house staff. Set the table, run dishes, get people drinks, and don't send guests to me unless they're ~~selling drugs~~ feeling peckish. π
Yeah. Pour me a drink and hang out. But stay out the way.
Selling? If I'm hosting people for dinner and doing the cooking, I expect any drugs you bring to be freely shared! Lol
Joking aside, though, I love to cook, and get routinely asked if I'll make this or that. And most of the time I've gone over to a friend's place to cook, or they've come to mine and I've cooked, they normally bring either booze or decent weed and share it. I hadn't actually made that connection until now. Lol.
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I like cooking with a partner, but we tend to choose before starting who is the chef and who is the sous for that meal. The sous just preps and keeps the space tidy and fetches shit while the chef orchestrates and cooks. This is a heck of a lot more fun, and then the chef can be like "go set the table" or "start washing up" once there's nothing else needed. Keeps it moving
I mean it's great cooking with people that have a teamwork mindset just like in a good restaurant. But with backseat chefs that barge in halfway through the cooking process wanting you to change up the whole meal it just doesn't work. It's like...OK but why didn't you tell me an hour ago? And this is gonna double the dishes to clean.
This also allows one of you to respond to every command with "Yes, Chef!" which is fun.
If we cook together what really happens is one of us does the actual cooking and the other person preps ingredients/cleans cookware.
imagine separating "actual cooking" and "prepping". Maybe "work the skillet/pot/oven" and "prep" or the typical "pre-prod" "prod" and "post".
Prepping and cleaning can be shared. That is how you split the labor. That is cooking together. If one person is less skilled maybe try to learn a little so you can enjoy it together (or not, maybe thats just their thing just a suggestion) and maybe if you are the more skilled one offer helpful tips.
Im being too serioili for a meme sub my bad but still cooking together can be fun
imagine separating "actual cooking" and "prepping"
You mean like a professional kitchen?
Ah so when you say you're gonna cook dinner, people ask you "well who's going to prep and clean after?" Nope, people know that "cooking dinner" means the whole shebang because it's, in fact, not a professional kitchen believe it or not
That level of pedantry is maybe why you should focus on building relationships with people in positive ways instead of saying shit like that lol
just cook together dammit, which means doing the prep and cleaning togetherβyou know, the stuff people would enjoy help and company with to lighten the burden? Maybe because you're in a relationship with each other and actually enjoy making your partners lives a little nicer lol
I tease my husband about this - there was a Barney (the dinosaur) episode where he was showing the kids how to make fruit salad, by mixing together fruit that had been chopped and put into individual bowls, they combined them into one big bowl. I was SO MAD because what the fuck? He showed literally NONE of the work at all. So when husband is grilling, I prep everything and he puts it on the grill and he will joke he made it and I will say sure, like Barney.
But he cleans, man does he clean. I suck at that. I do not feel overwhelmed or overworked. 'Cleaning up after" is a separate job. Sure I do some as I go, not explode the kitchen, but not what I'd call cleaning.
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Yeah this is how we do. Though usually I do more washing veggies than cutting them. Plus I'll do the meat usually. But recipe execution and seasonings are all her. I'll take the brunt of the dishwashing, she usually does counters and stove etc.
It's always a mix of who does what but usually we get along well in the kitchen.
You guys are getting told things?
eh, it can work. when my wife was well enough to cook we'd divide it like she washes, I chop and prep, and she cooks, then we split cleaning. Now I'm doing all of that and I really appreciate the occasions where we have a friend visiting who is willing to do some prep and cleaning. I usually do the cooking even when I have help, mostly because it's rare to find someone who knows how to cook what we eat. But I'm always eager to have help.
Before my mom got to the point of not being able to cook anymore, we routinely cooked together for most of my life (as in, from the age of about 8 until I was 31. I'm 34 now). It was wonderful. We'd get excited, try new things, make little rest batches to try out new spice ideas. Cooking with someone else, someone that you love, get along with, is a fantastic experience. It adds so much to life. Cooking, food, meals, eating, it's our most basic and lasting form of art, a showcase of love and expression. Doing that collaboratively can be a really splendid thing.
if you don't mind me asking, is your wife still with you?
She is. She has cancer and spends a lot of time resting. She has more energy in the morning. She makes her breakfast. But I do all the cooking at night and usually lunch too.
I can't imagine what that must be like, but I'm glad to hear you still have each other. <3
I'm with you. You can absolutely have two people in the kitchen... But only one can be in charge. My wife and I love cooking together, but if it is her meal or baking then she's in charge. I do things her way, and I stay out of the way if I need to. It can't be a competition or battle of wills. Someone leads, and someone willingly swallows their pride and washes the excessive number of measuring spoons or chops celery finer than they personally prefer it, or stands-by patiently while their partner curses at the recipe being half in metric and half imperial measurements.
I'm glad you and your wife were able to share that. Or whatever version of that was yours.
Yeah. It was a lot like that. She'd find a recipe to try, or want one of her favorites, and I'd just ask her how she wanted things chopped and prepped.
I used to be married to a chef, cooking together was one of our primary bonding points. They taught me how to cook at a professional quality but I've never gotten to a professional speed. Usually that meant I'd do prep work while they did a million things around me but as long as I was in my station it worked really well. Even now we're not together I love cooking with people in general doesn't matter if they get in my way or not. It's just such a fun way to interact with people and I'm more invested in that than whatever the food result is
My wife cannot cook with me because she cannot fathom that I worked in kitchens, I watch youtube chefs for fun and when I want to I can COOK. She hasnt, doesnt and cant but thinks this is an equal partnership where there isnt someone in charge and someone helping. Ive tried but she just has no concept of time management or order of operations but perhaps the worst was when I was chopping vegetables and she reached under the blade to pinch a fresh slice to eat and popped it in her mouth with a smile... she stuck her fingers under a razor sharp chefs knife mid stroke to be cute...
Nope. 3 digit hand jobs are not sexy, I'll cook for you sweetheart go relax.
A game called Overcooked matches what I experience when there's more than one person in the kitchen.
Such a good party game.
As someone who has worked in fast food, I fucking hate that game.
Man I'm glad I am not the only one. I already have a fucking job thank you very much.
I love cooking together, especially if it's something complicated that requires a lot of prep and multiple steps. If you have good communication with your partner it can be fun, it really feels like team effort, and it can speed up the cooking quite a bit. Overall it's probably easier to cook alone, but cooking together is faster and more fun in my experience.
i would say cooking together works when one is the main cook and other is prepping or both work on different components of the meal
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Cooking dinner together is one of my favorite dates. Making it work is all about good communication and working together for a shared goal.
It's easier to cook by yourself, sure, but it's also less fun.
Itβs baffling to me that people actually enjoy cooking. I donβt, and likely would just starve if left to my own devices.
Luckily, my partner loves cooking (we have a pretty symbiotic relationship). When I offer the help, the response is usually, βStay over there, out of the way, and look prettyβ lol
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Depends how big your kitchen is, what you're making and how organized you are. If you're working in an appartment kitchenette you can hardly turn around in, probably not. If you're making a family dinner for a dozen people or more in a big room sized kitchen in a family home, then yeah maybe you want some help.
My partner says she "wants to cook together" what she actually means is she puts the stuff in the pot and spices it and I chop the veggies and clean up. But if I don't she's not quick enough to get dinner done before the children eat my skin.
There seems to be a sharp divide here.
I have a friend who is like this, used to be a physical chemist, knows exactly what she is trying to make and it's a calibrated procedure that she needs to be focused for.
I like hanging out in the kitchen and I certainly like having someone willing to help out with stuff.
Yo so true. Get the fuck out of my kitchen! My wife always comes in when Iβm juggling 2+ tasks lol. βNO, DONT TRY TO HELP! Love youuuuuu, go grab a drinkβ lol
I can see both sides of the argument as a former professional, and current recovering perfectionist. I don't want to be social when I got a 10 inch knife in my hands, but once I'm actually cooking and not just cutting stuff up, let's make it a group activity! But I grew up in a household where cooking was considered social hour.
My ex cooked well and liked to, but was SHIT at prep. Veggies sliced as thick as your wrist. Meanwhile I'm eh at cooking and also don't like to, but I can prep like nobody's business.
We had a system where she'd do the cooking but I'd do the sous chef prep, made her learn the few cuts I know like juilenne, cube, dice, mince, etc just well enough to tell me which to do.
Worked really well, probably the most well functioning part of that relationship, rimshot.
this meme doesn't apply to everyone. my dad helps my mom cook all the time. When i was with my ex i would of loved her help, and offered mine.
I agree with you, but it's "would have" sorry for the pedantic nature of this comment, but that kinda mistake makes me irrationally angry.
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I feel so seen
Our kitchen is tiny so cooking is a solo sport in this house. I simply won't go near when she's cooking (95% of the work). Won't even come close when she's cleaning. Doesn't bitch at me, but her body language is clear, does that shooing-away-a-fly thing, "You're in my space and I'm busy."
When I'm up to bat, "GET. OUT. I got this." She didn't think men could cook, never having met such a male. (Asian thing?) Took me some time to prove her wrong. She no longer tries to help. :)
In either case. Sit down. STFU. Await dinner.
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Bruh, this hits so hard. I used to work a line, and loved/hated everyone I worked with. I still cook at home occasionally and will happily do so for an SO. But don't fucking bother me while I'm making you fucking ragu from scratch! This shit takes hours of boiling after cutting up everything, we can talk then!
There are some different modes of cooking in the kitchen.
If you want to intentionally cook with someone, then there needs to be a plan made in advance of who is doing what/where. Plan to make the salad, while the other works on the main dish, etc. This establishes individual work flows and understanding of what resources need to be allocated.
When cooking solo, task scheduling is done in the head linearly and having to stop the flow and redirect it to words can be frustrating as it disrupts speed/timing of scheduled tasks to be completed. This can be done with multiple experienced cooks that are aware of what's going on without disrupting flow but not your typical couple.
If being intimate is the goal, then choose something that can be done as a group project in a more laid back manner. Think baking cookies, or a sit down activity like shaping gyoza dumplings where more hands the better. Or choose a single recipe where one can be the hand and the other can be the brain as an instructional/learning experience.
My most common response to people asking what they can do to help is, βget the fuck out of my kitchen.β
If my wife or I are cooking, and the other is in the kitchen, there's an argument. Every damn time. Like girl, get the hell out my way, these onions ain't chopping themselves and you keep knocking into me.
I used to work a restaurant and can get a dish done in half an hour that would take my wife 2 hours. I just prefer to do it on my own at my speed. I tell her she can set the table and we can do dishes together
If I'm cooking, I don't mind someone in there helping by doing some of the recipe steps on the other counter out of my way
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