Congrats on turning gay π₯³π
this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2025
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...you can get the gay from balloons now??? I thought they just temporarily made my voice all squeaky.
That squeaky voice is the heterosexuality leaving your body.
So if I only take half of it in, does that mean I can switch hit at will?
Ahem, taking half of it in I'd say you're halfway there π
What if I take two, but they're both only halfway in? Still only counts as half right?
I think that'd be... ahem ... stretching things.
You'd be surprised.
Happy gayduation.
But it does mean they are proud of you. Congrats! I am too.
Thanks, StinkyFingerItchyBum! I'm...proud of you, too!
Oh what a difference that last bit of punctuation makes:
βMom, Dadβ¦Iβm gay.β
βMom, Dadβ¦Iβm gay?β
A few years later: βdang, they knew all alongβ
They were definitely laughing in the shop when they picked that out.
What's it like having parents who are proud of you?
"I fell so full of - what's the opposite of shame?"
"Pride?"
"No, not that far from shame."
"Less shame?"
"Yeah!"
I'll have you know I had to change my shirt thanks to this. Anyone know what gets out coffee stains?
Oh, you can keep the shirt off, I prefer it that way, StinkyFingerItchyBum
I bet the balloons must be nice to get, at least.
Idk, but I don't want delusional parents, so it is what it is.
They could just be gay for you.
Get your minds out of the gutter ... gay means happy!
Iβm pretty sure no Elizabethan ever said, βIβm so gay for thee,β as an expression of happiness or support. Your phrasing is therefore pretty locked in as βyour parents want the gay incest with you,β so maybe you owe OP an apology?
Just sayinβ.
It's pretty amazing that you have the entirety of Elizabehean interpersonal communications in a parsable format.
I think it's nice.
So, how do I say this...Your parents know something you don't know, yet.
They found OP's browser history
See, Trump is right! College turns you gay!
Well, it doesn't not mean that so yaaay!
<3
That's how the language is deformed. I often ask to my wife why there is no LGBT people when we watch Pride and Prejudice.
Those guys were supposed to be straight!?
They knew
I fail to see a problem.
Own it.
I really like it that your parents didn't know.
That's what I was thinking! I'd assume that any regular fox news watcher would know that "pride" in rainbow colors is code for them evil, demonic gays.
Why talk to people when you can just make stuff up?
What degree?
If a kid is ashamed of its parents β¦ I'd pity the kid rather than the parents.