From Danish: You can make a call from Ringsted to Thisted but you can't pee from Thisted to Ringsted.
this post was submitted on 20 Oct 2025
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For those curious, Ringsted and Thisted are Danish cities. "Ring", like in English, is the sound a phone makes when you make a call, and in Danish we say that we "ring" someone, when we call them. "This" is pronounced like the Danish word "tis", which means pee.
Another danish one: How do you make a goldfish laugh?
You put it in spring water.
I thought I might make a joke about the Deutsche Bahn but I don't think it would go over well.
Tap for spoiler
Edit: I should add explanations.
"To go over well" in German is "(gut) ankommen". "Ankommen" also means "to arrive" - which Deutsche Bahn trains are notoriously bad at doing in a timely manner.
Didn't the German trains have such incredible reliability that they issued apology notes for workers when they arrived late, because bosses wouldn't believe that's why someone was tardy?
That's Japan, unfortunately.
It also is Germany (and France, Malaysia, and Singapore). At least according to Wikipedia.
It's possible Wikipedia is relying on outdated info though.
My husband just reminded me what this actually is. It's not for people being late for work, it's for people demanding their money back from DB. And it's only issued after the train was late for a certain time, an hour at least, iirc - because if they did this for shorter delays, they wouldn't get around to doing anything but issue delay certificates. (Note that you only get the entire cost back when the train was delayed significantly, for several hours, otherwise it's a partial refund at best.)
Not because our trains are usually so very reliable though. On the contrary, if DB has actually managed to implement a mechanism like that (I personally haven't heard of it), that's because they get so many complaints and people kept demanding some kind of documentation to show their higher-ups to explain why they're always late.
They used to be fairly reliable. Then privatization happened...
And in true German fashion, they privatized it only half-way, combining the disadvantages of a privately run enterprise with the drawbacks of a state-owned company.
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What's the most dangerous brick? A crocodile
¿Que hace el pez?
Nada.
What's that?
<Huh?>
What's that called?
Denali
I'm sorry?
Denali is what that's called.
Ah. Of course, off you go.
Marks down Mount Denali. Excellent.
[Joke from a bit farther up north than us, language is different but the joke's the exact same.]
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Abraham to Beebraham: "Okay to borrow your zebra for a sec?"
Tap for spoiler
"Can I borrow your zebra" in rather casual speech is "Kann ich ma dein Zebra ham", where "Zebra ham" sounds like C-braham. As in A-braham B-braham C-braham. I swear it's hilarious.