Off My Chest

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Some parents care too much about their own views to explore others (lemmings.world)

submitted 1 week ago by blackwitch@lemmings.world to c/goodoffmychest@lemmy.world

3 comments fedilink hide all child comments

While my mom doesn't really "get it", as she says, she seems to try to support trans people at least, and I know she supports me being a lesbian.

My dad, however, is disgusted by gay people, though he says he genuinely doesn't care if I were to come out as gay to him (I haven't yet because I'm afraid he won't let me see my girlfriend anymore if I do).

I know for a fact that he is very conservative and transphobic. Yesterday, we went to the store, and the worker helping us out with what to buy was a trans woman with a trans pin and a "she/her" pin. Dad was really upset when we came out of the store, saying he didn't feel safe around the worker, that she had no business being around me as his daughter and said she looked like a guy.

I know, as well, that living under his roof, I can't go to my trans friend (FtM)'s house nor can he go to ours as "'she' doesn't know if 'she's' a man or a woman".

I can't even come out as genderfluid because my Dad would freak out, so I wish parents like him cared less about their beliefs and politics and cared more about how the kid felt or that the kid can spend time with their friend regardless of the parent's own beliefs.

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[–] LainTrain@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Damn it feels like every other rant on here is like this.

Such a shame, my own parents were super transphobic as well and threatened to disown me too when I was a kid and would spend all summer saying shit like "transvestites dont live to 30" and calling all LGBT folks "non-people" to my face.

All that after they outed me when finding one estrofem in my bag. LOL!

I'm 10 years out from all that now. Independent, healthy, working, got surgery - I'm happy. Now they wonder why I don't write much. But I was able to forgive them over time, as well.

Stay strong 💪

[–] AntiBullyRanger@ani.social 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Your father is an insecure piece of scum who has projected his unsafe behavior on someone he hasn't met. A store clerk is just a store clerk, what she does after hours is her business, not his. If your father can't say “she/her” to someone that “looks like a guy,” then he has no reason to shop outside/in public.

He sees you as an tool:

that living under his roof,

not a human with will, aspirations, and in need of shelter. The roof he owns is nothing more than a roof. It won't be there for comfort, marriage, warm hugs, protection or shopping trips. If he uses the roof as a means to exploit your behavior, he’s not a father, but a sperm donor.

As an anarchist, I know perfectly well children are their own being, with their own will, their own choices. I have to bless my children's partners and friends as my own, since I was a child myself. My beliefs and politics are my own, and I have to respect those of the children. Forcing my will is anti-anarchist, and anti-protective of theirs.

Your father hasn't grown at all, because you're not his doll.

[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 2 points 1 week ago

can't say I understand lgtbq I mean there might be more letters but man even a trans speaker at the protests had their tongue trip up with that acronym. I have known people though and I don't have to understand people to live and let live and appreciate nice folks. Heck I mourn the days when almost every openly gay person was pretty nice because most of the jerks stayed way in the closet. Its not easy to be open as a fringe group when the group is not accepted much in society. I sorta feel acceptance is going downhill though like lots of things this millenium.