Eh, one of the slower ways to kill a billionaire, but at least it is still killing them.
this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2025
418 points (99.1% liked)
The Shitpost Office
365 readers
505 users here now
Welcome to The Shitpost Office
Shitposts processed from 9 to 5, with occasional overtime on weekends.
Rule 1: Be Civil, Not Sinister
Treat others like fellow employees, not enemies in the breakroom.
- No harassment, dogpiling, or brigading
- No bigotry (transphobia, racism, sexism, etc.)
- Respect people’s time and space. We’re here to laugh, not to loathe
Rule 2: No Prohibited Postage
Some packages are simply undeliverable. That means:
- No spam or scams
- No porn or sexually explicit content
- No illegal content
- NSFW content must be properly tagged
If you see anything that violates these rules, please report it so we can return it to sender. Otherwise? Have fun, be silly, and enjoy the chaos. The office runs best when everyone’s laughing.... or retching over the stench, at least.
founded 3 weeks ago
MODERATORS
Its pretty fast really. They're dead the second their body functions stop. Nobody has ever survived being frozen solid. Not really. Coming back from that is a death sentence.
The idea is that you put the frozen head in a brain scanner and the synapses are still intact so you can emulate them in a computer or specialised android hardware.
This way the rich can become imortal gods as the poor can be made to work 24/7 at 10000x efficiency
At this point, I'm not sure they still need the poor. Automation will handle all the work.
Unless they want to keep a couple around as novelties to show off.
Or for sex. Probably they'll keep some of them around for sex. Provided they still have that need.
Yeah... and it's a dumb idea. Consciousness is not software.
What I consciousness though?
It's clearly not hardware, if either an emulated brain can be conscious or just pretends to do so is impossible to prove or disprove.
load more comments
(46 replies)
load more comments
(9 replies)
load more comments
(6 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
How did they decompose if they were frozen? Or did this happen as they were thawed and basically just liquified as they warmed up?
The second. Turns out cryo places take a ridiculous amount of energy to keep the corpses at the ‘proper’ temperature, and those running such places often cut corners, and so leave out things like backup generators. The suspension fluids also need refilling periodically, which often doesn’t happen.
Edit: if you want to read the article this post is quoting, you can find it here.
The freezer in Futurama didn't need any special shit. This is false.
Thanks for the link, that was interesting to read. They link to a "medical report" from one of the cryprofreeze companies, about three people who were transferred from being frozen completely to just having their heads preserved (apparently this is a thing).
It contains such gems as describing said process of decapitating a corpse like this:
The patient was removed to an isolation tent with specially constructed supports, where a rapid conversion to neuropreservation was done using a high speed electric chain saw.
They go into some detaile about how the bodies reacted to being frozen for years and then warmed up again, which is interesting to read (for me at least) and shows that the technology needed to revive these souls is a long long time away (if at all)"
load more comments
(7 replies)
load more comments
(31 replies)
Didn't one of these places recently lose power or go out of business?
Anyway, will all their frozen cell walls popped they probably turn to goo that much faster.
load more comments
(6 replies)
wasn't there some girl that froze herself at 25 years old?
There are two frozen accidents I recall in which both women survived. One the (twenty-sonething-year-old?) lady was walking home but was getting too cold and couldn't make it so stopped at a friend's house but couldn't make it to the door, or she was knocking & ringing doorbell and nobody answered, something like that. She froze to death in the front yard, all living processes ceased, but her body froze in such a way that when she was found the next day & taken to the hospital, thawed, her bodily processes began to resume and she made a full recovery with no lasting effects from the trauma.
Similar outcome experienced by some other lady who fell through the ice in a frozen lake.
These incidents are not uncommon, but they are not "frozen" accidents as in frozen = turned to ice. They are freezing accidents as in freezing = dying from cold.
Our heart stops at a body temperature of mid 20° C. At this temperature, our brain survives cardiac arrest for several hours instead of 6 min like at 37° C. That's why the window for reanimation is several hours when your freezing, and why surgeons uses artificial hypothermia during heart surgery, and why no one's dead until warm and dead.
If a body freezes < 0° C and needs to be actually thawed, the tissue is too damaged to recover.
load more comments
(6 replies)
Since we can now almost clone from skin cells. Almost. Maybe they can peddle that to people who were unmarried? Like give us a sample when you're 21, we'll freeze your pinki, then just work until you're dead! We'll find you a match and make you some kids later when we can.
load more comments
(4 replies)
view more: next ›