this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2025
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[–] Faydaikin@beehaw.org 45 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Fairly common sense, imo.

You shouldn't even assume your kids actually like you.

[–] CommanderCloon@lemmy.ml 20 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I think that's pretty irrelevant, I personally don't have enough time in the day to take care of anyone else

[–] Faydaikin@beehaw.org 18 points 1 week ago

Few people have.

At the end of the day responsibility for another person only really falls on whoever chose it. Like, if you chose to have kids, you're responsible for them. But kids never chose their parents, thus they aren't responsible for them.

[–] BCsven@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 week ago

This. Kids have jobs living pay cheque to pay cheque, they won't have time for elder care

[–] genfood@feddit.org 44 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I warn my parents about this too

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Why would a parent even want this? The one's I know would sacrifice anything for the future generations of their family. They shouldn't have to, granted, but who's out there draining their descendants?

[–] Archangel1313@lemmy.ca 24 points 1 week ago

BC has a whole host of subsidized programs for this. My elderly father lives with me, and it's no burden at all. He has homecare workers that come three times a day, to take care of his basic needs, and it's all paid for by a percentage of his disposable monthly income.

If he ever gets to the point where he needs more than what we can take care of at home, then he goes to a care home, which will be paid for by a larger percentage is f his monthly disposable income.

[–] BCsven@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 week ago

My wife does companion care for old folks in care homes. She fills a spot where family isn't involved so that the elderly person has somebody to talk to, take them outside, bring their favourite meal, celebrate their birthdays etc. She said its sad how many people are in there just left to rot, since they aren't mobility safe, or may have declining mental function.

[–] MML@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago

You don't want trophy kids?

[–] 0li0li@lemmy.world 28 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Lol, fuck that! 96% of people plan to grow old in place?

My parents only had highschool diplomas, could afford life on 1 salary, had a couple kids, a house close to the city, 2 cars, a cottage and relatively early retirement, but they did not put THAT kind of money aside for private homes or in-house support.

One thing's for sure: I won't have enough money, rooms, food or water to take care of them too...

[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Jokes on you, I am never having kids.

[–] cyberpunk007@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 week ago (2 children)

And for the few kids in the generation taking care of you, will have to work like slaves to provide sub-par care.

That part will suck.

[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 week ago

Not having kids means I can afford to retire comfortably.

[–] TonyOstrich@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

We could just tax the rich...

[–] troed@fedia.io 18 points 1 week ago (5 children)

On the contrary, we should normalize the concept of the greater family again. Having grandparents help with our young kids solves a lot of modern issues for a family where both parents work, and I will of course do everything to aid my elderly parents as they now age.

We built a house for them on our property in preparation for this. When the time comes (soon), they won't need to rely on shitty gov workers.

[–] yeahiknow3@lemmings.world 13 points 1 week ago (2 children)

This would have been possible if boomers hadn’t decided to destroy human civilization instead.

[–] troed@fedia.io 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm in Sweden. Human civilization is all good here.

[–] yeahiknow3@lemmings.world 19 points 1 week ago
[–] Bebopalouie@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Please. It’s not about boomers as you can see that most people are not recycling, etc. etc. etc. and haven’t been since pretty much forever to this day.

Remember, please, that this is a war between the billionaires and the rest of us. Don’t let them win.

[–] tootoughtoremember@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I hear you and agree, but the generational component to wealth disparity continues to worsen and is impossible to ignore.

Instead I would use this as evidence to focus messaging toward Millennials, Gen Z, and Alpha. We don't need to succumb to their "fuck you, got mine" mentality, but without drastic change we'll just keep making it worse for each subsequent generation.

[–] slaneesh_is_right@lemmy.org 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Here is your house where you live forever and change our diapers later on. You better find a wife soon who in into that. You're welcome.

[–] troed@fedia.io 15 points 1 week ago

Yeah I'm not super into "I've got mine, screw you!".

[–] miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Yep.
3 kids. They each and all want us.

Life isn't linear. One can't make 'plans', as this expertise keeps insisting. One may be aware of 'options', but one never knows until one is faced with it, irl.

You don't need a gazillion dollars in retirement savings, either. You won't be sailing on personal yachts meeting your friends for afternoon tea on Easter Island.

[–] SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

That happens after wealth redistribution.

Families gathered around their wealth, not each other.

[–] BigBenis@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

My partner's evangelical mother is constantly bemoaning the fact that none of her seven children who are now well into adulthood have had any kids of their own yet. She tries to argue that there will be nobody to look after them when they're old and most if not all of the siblings agree that's a profoundly selfish reason to bring people into this world.

I see this as a reflection of a society-wide problem of seeing other humans as a means toward an end and where relationships have transactional implications.

[–] cyberpunk007@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I find it wild this is even an expectation. I have never expected this.

[–] Shanmugha@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

With you on this. It never crossed my mind to expect anyone to take care of me just because we are related by blood

[–] nyan@lemmy.cafe 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

A corollary: Do not assume you want your child to be your caregiver in your old age, as they will not necessarily be inclined to do anything in the way you would prefer.

[–] Amuletta@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 week ago

One of my partner's relatives has a progressive disease and she definitely doesn't want her kids upending their lives to be her carers. As she puts it "I didn't raise them and pay for their education just for them to end up changing my diapers".

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

asians expect this out of thier children, but if they arnt in a career, they constantly badger how "terrible" they are compared to this "x person whos earning more money". sorry you spent to much time not fostering growth. theres a difference between working so much, to the point your children dont have the tools to functionally normally as an adults.

[–] Amuletta@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 week ago

My sister is my mother's main caregiver. Better her than me. She inherits the house and most of the assets and will have more than earned it.