this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2025
146 points (98.7% liked)

Not The Onion

18103 readers
1073 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 9 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 63 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

However, in late August, the business’s website posted a message saying their services had ended “due to various circumstances.”

Saved you a click. This is the third line from the end, of course.

[–] ordnance_qf_17_pounder@reddthat.com 20 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Well thats not a very fun reasoning

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 12 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah. Pretty anticlimactic. Way too easy to abuse this business idea, though, so I’m not complaining.

[–] Bot@sub.community 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Press 1 for Japanese Mob; Press 2 for Italian Mob.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Press 88 for US government mob.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Press 88 for US gubmnt

FTFY

[–] Bot@sub.community 2 points 2 weeks ago

If you want Communists, just scream Xi and Kim

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 weeks ago

That would have been great for a little kid's birthday party.

[–] fodor@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 weeks ago

Oh, you can also rent a scary person to intimidate your children.