I call those poops flawless victories.
this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2025
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Fry ups make my shit come out like a greased otter. Probably all the oil.
Healthy, fibre heavy foods make a right mess, like tar. Even the travel bidet struggles with that.
It sounds like you may have a a slight case of steattorhea? Do these otter poops float as well?
Because if so, it might be some slight absorption issue. I seem to have one, my poops being very much like you describe. Both, at times.
But when I went on an exclusion diet and then added things back in I realised I apparently have a slight gluten sensitivity. Leaving out gluten and dairy completely made an insane change. Even when I would eat greasy chicken wings, I wouldn't get dem greasy otter poops. Just like, more regular poops, despite what I ate.
I'm not saying you have the same thing, just saying I had that.
Related though, there is I believe like an over-the-counter supplement that's enzymes which help with the absorption / break down of the food, because greasy stools can be a result of too little of some pancreatic enzymes or something.
Am not a trained medical professional, btw, so don't take medical advice from me. But like, things to look up at least.
As a gluten and fructose intolerant person, I agree. That shit makes shit shit.
I deal with it by smoking copious amounts of weed.
Makes nausea and digestive pain a lot easier when you empty your entire guts into the toilet bowl and get off the throne 4 kilos lighter.
none, or get a bidet, but you would want to wipe for sanitary reasons anyways.
I think you missed the point.
"No wipe poops" doesn't mean you never wipe again. It means poop that leaves behind insignificant residue.
I periodicity have these, and it's a joy. There's definitely a dietary aspect to it, and moving that direction seems to be the point here.
Thank you for understanding and emphasis on the point of my question 👍
Even when there's no obvious sign of poo out still feels wet like I'm wiping normally. I would always want to wipe at least once to get all the sweat and residue from the past few hours that naturally accumulate for just being a human.
Fiber and good gut biome. It can take a while to correct if out of wack.
Eat less frequently. OMAD or skip one meal. Also if you’re drinking a lot of water, supplement with electrolyte capsules (no Gatorade) to maintain optimal function. Reduce or eliminate snacking between meals.
the large intestines absorbs water, electrolytes, and vitamins. It won’t function as well if your shits out of whack.
You can get close by eating vegan.
Sorry, I don't know enough vegans to sustain my diet..
/s
Sugar makes my poo real bad, candy especially. My gut biome just can’t handle it.
Otherwise it’s just fibre from vegetables and fruit pretty much
- Wax your ass
- Get a squatting stool
- Don’t eat spicy food
- High Fiber, meaning, don’t eat anything purréd
- Try to eat a salad with lunch/dinner
- Limit or eliminate processed foods
- Limit saturated fat intake up until the point your gallbladder can keep up
- Red sauces, not white sauces
- Eliminate fried food
- Eat foods that are in a form where you can visually discern each major ingredient. (That’s kinda where the term “Whole Foods” comes from)
- Eat lean proteins like chicken/fish/Pork (not bacon)
Taco Bell takes issue with like half of these.
You lost me at 3 ngl.
Reading number 3 makes me angry.
Legit hard dealbreaker
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A bidet.
Interesting diet choice..
It's pretty good after the first few bites.
Consistent ghost poops whenever I'm eating vegan consistently.
Mainly because meat gets swapped to beans and other high fibre options
No such thing, your own body is your own body and how it functions is entirely for you to manage, figure out and maintain. The shape of your anus and buttocks has as much impact on the cleanliness and ease of your bowel movements as your diet.
You have to follow the basics of self-care and have a healthy diet including a lot of vegetables, grains and legumes with fiber, low-fat proteins, healthy oils like olive oil in moderate amounts. Stay away from processed foods, and if you don't know what constitutes processed food, you need to learn to walk before you run. Do some searches. You have the wealth of Humanity's knowledge at your fingers.
Just don't eat fast-food, cut back on beef, learn to make beans and rice and chicken/tofu dishes and eat some fresh greens daily if you can. Get exercise every day. DRINK LOTS OF WATER EVEN IF YOU DON'T THINK YOU'RE THIRSTY.
Will all this give you solid, clean bowel movements? No idea, in fact if you're not used to eating like this, you will probably need months to adjust to it and may have periods of loose stools or even constipation before you start having healthier, easier bathroom times. You will also save a lot of money and you will feel healthier and have more energy and may live longer. I would take all that over "no wipe poops."
If you're really struggling wiping, stop. Buy a bidet or a hand-held shower-head with a long hose and just use toilet paper to wipe dry. It's absolutely criminal that parents don't teach their kids proper bathroom hygiene and now we have a whole generation of people who struggle in the bathroom.
Thanks for the random response! Most everything you said makes good sense 👍
Nah, no problems wiping here, I just asked as a generic discussion question that I think everyone has some interest in.
Glad you appreciate it. I figured it might be just a polling question for engagement, which is why I dropped a thorough back-to-basics summary.
But I stand by the last part, I have read far, far too many posts across different sites from grown-ass men and women who struggle keeping the area between their legs from crusting over. There are men scared to touch their own asses and never wash lest they turn gay, and women who think getting water in their vagina will make them go to hell or pregnant or shit, and posts by the partners of these people who have no idea how to address it.
We have a checked out generation relying on Grok and ChatGTP to tell them how to do basic human functions. I feel like this is a recipe for even worst outcomes somewhere down the road.
Get a bidet
Those don't taste that great though, not for my daily diet anyways..
Lots of cheese. Don't need to wipe if your shit is solid as a brick.
sounds like asking for a hemmaroid.
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Buy or make L.reuteri yoghurt or supplement pill. I'm treating my acid reflux with it. Its truly remarkable how good it makes your tummy and butt exit door feel.
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