cats

Your cats are lawyers too?! My 3 boys just made partner at "Cat Butt, Cat Butt & Tail"

I talk to my cat as if I'm summoning a demon. I'm sure the old lady next door is concerned.

Neth'Sin the Eternal Tormentor can only actually torment you by pissing off the side of the cat box, or a protest turd by the toilet.

Mr. Pickles the vase was found on the floor in pieces by the lady of the house.
You were witnessed on the mantle shortly after the incident.
What is your defense?

Meow?

That's convenient. It seems to be an odd coincidence indeed. And yet we have a long list of witnesses of your blatant disregard for elevated objects.
I myself witnessed you dislodge a flower pot last week. Can you explain that as coincidence?

Mrow.

No. No you can't. With all these repeat offenses how are we supposed to judge you?

Meow.

Yes I see. That's right. You are indeed a cat. We don't judge you. You judge us.

In that case i hope youre not giving them free room and board.

he probably did say that after. but the story is still funny so I'm glad that person shared it.

i got a kick out of it.

Why not both? Anyway, I know this does happen irl. I was once leaving an office and the lady there had a really cute chihuahua, so I said "Goodbye" and added cheerfully: "Bye bye, sweet creature." It took me about a minute to realise I didn't check whether the lady saw I was talking to the dog. Hopefully she's used to her dog getting lots of attention - that's what I tell myself now to cope.

Even saying that doesnt take away their embarrassment

In my case, I'm genuinely that bad with words. I do try though.

Yes

Also, here is said sheep