Ask Lemmy

If I had infinite money I would give it all away but my real opinion is a lot more closed-hearted.

I grew up in a drug town in the US and over time my will to help just died.

I knew some people in active addiction and every time we were out they would notice someone begging and say “hey, I know them! I have used with them. They are NOT homeless” or something to that effect.

I have seen people use their kids as props. I have seen people leave the corner and hop in their expensive af vehicle. I have seen people rob whoever stopped to help them. The list goes on and on.

It’s genuinely unsafe to get involved. Sure, most people aren’t like that but I can’t tell the difference and it only takes one. Besides that, if I gave a dollar to everyone who asked, I would have nothing left. I have to worry about me and mine.

Maybe if I grew up in a safer neighborhood I would feel differently but you don’t un-learn survival and I stopped carrying cash all together because of this.

I’m poor, so I’ll do what I can. Especially if it means ignoring people I’ve seen shoplifting. Because, no, I didn’t.

I never give cash. I've personally had to provide emergency service for ODs that came directly from someone's "last fix".

My GF donates to the food bank at the end of our street when she finds a great deal on an item.

I don't agree with it for two specific reasons, non is a judgement of character or moral failings:

1. If you are willing to give a beggar any amount, those dollars would be far more useful in the hands of a good organization whose aim is helping people. Want to feed them? Give them food or donate to the food back. Want to clothe them? Give to a shelter.
2. The reality is that these people are likely not capable adults due to a variety of reasons (no judgement). They are not capable making good decisions for their own well-being and giving them money is fueling an unhealthy choice, like short term happiness for long term pain and potentially death.

My belief is that we should mitigate suffering, help them live good lives, and set them up to be contributing members of society, and that isn't accomplished by randomly giving people money.

I give money if I can afford to and it's for charity, or a person asking for themselves. I don't give if I can't afford it, or if it's the police. They really should be getting funded through taxes.

Depends on how they behave. If they get right up in my face and immediately tell me their whole life story how they're sick and hungry and have twenty children to feed, I'm usually skeptical. On the other hand, if someone is polite and especially if they ask for food instead of money, I'm more inclined to help.

Overall, I'm happy to help those who really need it but I've had too many bad experiences with people who were in it out of greed more than necessity. Prime example, some time last year I was on my way home from a vacation and had to wait at the train station for a couple of minutes when a guy came up to me and asked me for money because he was hungry. I told him I had no cash with me but I could get him a sandwich from a nearby vending machine where I can pay with my credit card. On the way to the vending machine, he asked me if something from the bakery at the other end of the station would also be okay. That was already a bit weird but okay. I left my partner and my luggage at the platform and took him to the bakery. On the way there, he pointed out that there was an ATM where I could get cash for him which I refused, then at the bakery he asked me for two of the most expensive snack they had plus something to drink, a total of over 20€. Quite the difference between that and the 4€ sandwich I had initially agreed to. The whole situation was so uncomfortable, I can't even remember what I got him in the end. And from the way he acted, I wouldn't be surprised if he just threw away the food once I was out of sight and asked the next person for money.

It's sad. There are so many people who ask for what they need and are genuinely happy when they get help and then there are greedy assholes like that guy. And because I usually can't tell the difference at a glance, I'm often overly careful and don't help even though I feel I should.

I generally don't, especially not when people come up to me and ask for money. Though that's just because I don't like unsolicited interactions with strangers in the first place, not because they are beggars.

However, I never use cash in Switzerland so every time I come back from Germany I'll just dump all the change I accumulated there on the first beggar I find.

I'm getting the very minimum basic income aid, I'm struggling too so I dont give 🤷

I give food or consumables only.

• canned food
• dry food
• fast food
• Gatorade mix
• multi-vitamins
• socks
• clothes
• coats
• water bottles
• life straws
• soap
• sanitary wipes
• dry shampoo

I will not give to anyone who panhandles in dangerous locations. I will not give to people who stop me.

the only time I will give cash is if they have kids with them and I have seen them interact positively with the kids.

there's one woman in my area that has her three kids with her. she's everywhere in town. she does not have positive interactions with the kids. one day I saw her and the kids sneaking back to a parked escalade in a park across from where they were at. very nice, new, and clean. clearly she is using her kids for sympathy. this is why I have that rule.

I no longer carry cash so the question is moot. Also a cheap way out ….

I used to occasionally, but

• I no longer work downtown so rarely encounter homeless
• I am more likely to recognize scammers and am more likely to run into them. An oversimplification is the more aggressive ones are more likely scammers
• I used to think it was a good thing to empty my pockets for whoever was in need, but too often they were offended I would offer change
• if someone was hungry I used to buy them a meal, but too often it was an excuse to beg for a larger amount and they’d be offended at a meal

Now I theoretically donate larger amounts to services for homeless ….. although it’s been far too long since I have

Depends on where. I never do where I live. Not just beggars, but most charities that engage me on the streets as well. I just need to get through my day, and the money I have is already reserved for something, and anyone who knows me knows that the least enticing way to get me to do anything is to show up out of the blue and ask for something, or ask for something when I'm just moving through to some destination or purpose.

EDIT: My GF reminded me of a major exception to the above: There's this magazine often sold by people down on their luck. I usually buy it, even if I don't always read it, because the ones selling it are usually in the beginning stages of (hopefully) turning their life around. People fresh out of rehab, etc. They're making an effort, and I'll happily support them doing so.

I do support some charities, but none of the ones I support bothered me with expectations of social etiquette when I've got shit to do and places to be. I've finally reached the point in my life where I don't give two shits about coming off as rude or unfriendly.

When I'm somewhere foreign I'm a bit more nice/giving, though. For starters, I don't know much about local circumstances to know which hardships and lack of support anyone I meet face. Secondly, I am usually carrying some local jimjam currency I won't need once I leave. A prime examle of this is when I saw a beggar in Mobile, AL last year, and I walked past someone with that "default" sign of being a veteran et.al. I was leaving the next day and didn't really need whatever local currency I had in my pocket, so I gave him 40$. If he truly needed it (which I assume he did), then I hope it took a load off his shoulders for a while. If he didn't then it wasn't that big of a loss to me.

You do you, but I can't imagine it would improve their situation. I also don't trust people. It sounds horrible but I've been taken advantage of before and I won't let it happen again.

Donate money to your local food banks, homeless shelters, or any other non-profit that has a good reputation for assisting those in need.

If someone approaches you asking for money, absolutely under no circumstances should you give it to them. Be sure to say that you do not carry cash to give them. Then if you are feeling that you need to give to them, then offer a meal or buy groceries using a credit card. You'll find that most of them will decline.

They are using YOUR GUILT to get their next drug fix most of the time. That guilt is artificial and the result of manipulation techniques they are employing against you. It is rather contemptible to be perfectly frank.

I'm used to automatically disingage with them but I kinda shouldn't. I'm working on it.

I don't give. I donate to organizations that give, but I don't give direct. I'm not particularly trusting that it's going to the right place. I'm not interested in buying you a beer, and I don't believe the train ticket story, because I've heard it a million times.

My wife works with the homeless. She gets them housed. My wife found a dude who shed gotten housed out busking telling people he was homeless. It's happened more than once.

If you're going to give to a person, give to an organization.

There’s no right or wrong answer here. I’ve been meaning to stock up on 711 gift cards for situations where I do feel like giving.

My last run in with a beggar she told me she was gonna eat my face off if I didn’t give her money for some Black & Milds.

A few things. My policy for all people is that if they ask me for something specific, then I will not give it to them on the spot. Doesn't matter whether it's panhandling or selling something or asking for signatures. I don't like being put on the spot, so I'm going to either research it on my own or follow some policy.

My policy about panhandling is to give money to food charities instead. Not because I think it's wrong to give them things, but because it makes more sense for me logically and emotionally.

Emotionally first. I don't get that emotional rush that other people seem to get for giving out money to a needy person, but I do feel a lot of remorse if I think it was a mistake. Sometimes, their response to a donation makes you feel really bad, and you don't ever get that if you just ignore them.

Logically next. A person without a home cannot buy food as efficiently as even a badly run charity. They don't have a refrigerator or even a safe place to store food, so they're forced to buy ready to eat food at several times the cost. Even if I did hand out money to individuals, I wouldn't do it without a budget. It just makes a lot more sense to give the same money to a charity, instead.

The issue here isn't about charity for the less fortunate. Many of the people begging make a decent living (from begging), and moreso than those working shitty service jobs. I don't want to give money to someone that dresses homeless and puts on an act. I would happily give money to anyone that genuinely doesn't know where they will sleep next week, or where their next meal is coming from.

The problem is that I'm not in a position to evaluate that. As such, I would rather give money to food banks and the like, since they are in a better position for that.

Here they are always on street corners. I never give money because I don't want to encourage unsafe behavior, as our streets are pretty high-speed. I would much rather provide to the shelters.