Thank God it's finally over
this post was submitted on 31 May 2025
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I actually had this thought once. Long time ago I was in this industrial workplace accident (don't wear loose fitting clothes near huge spinning things) and to cut to the chase I ended up on the floor bleeding and I'm guessing the shock made it so that I couldn't breathe for around a minute. I can hold my breath for a minute, no problem, but in the moment when you don't know what is happening and you can't breathe and there's no way to just start breathing, that minute felt very very long. I remember thinking "well, this is it, I will die now, but.. I guess it's for the best."
Turns out I had been depressed for a while, and needed some change in my life.
I thought there was a giant log rolling toward the lorry.
Inertia says that the log is moving roughly the same speed as the truck, so I'll apply the brakes and move to the right.
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Before this happened I would have given myself double the distance to the truck avoiding the situation completely
Enter a Sherlock Holmes-esque state of hyper awareness. Calculate the distance to the log based on parallax and distance between my eyes. Calculate time to impact given relative speeds (this calculation costs precious microseconds but is indispensable). Note the positions of every car around and the age and apparent gender of every driver. Adjust the steering wheel so that the log impacts right between myself and my passenger. Upon impact, adjust steering based on road position and positions and probable reactions of other drivers to bring my car safely to a stop without causing further damage.
I would do the exact same maneuvers except one thing.
I would go ahead and immediately get impaled right as I start the calculations.
Hard swerve to the right, and duck.
What good is a bird in this situation?
Hello. They can fly.
Realistically, I'd let it happen. No ragerts.
Realistically, there would be very little if any time remaining to experience regret.
Oh, hey, it's Pseudotsuga menziesii.
Hey, it's Enrico Pallazzo!