Let’s see, what are bards known for again?
this post was submitted on 16 May 2025
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Easy
str 3 (+0)
con 17 (+3)
dex 3 (+2)
int 1 (+0)
wis 1(+0)
cha 1 (+0)
Special ability: summon swarm of 
It would be a CON focused class that would get the ability "enduring attack" at level 5, which allows damage from an attack to continue every turn as a spell concentration. They also can use the "disguise self" spell on others to make them more attractive as a twice a day ability after level 2 and get an extra use of "Second Wind" every 2 levels as their refractory period gets better.
Ira Gamagoori's moveset, Gooner would mostly be a tank class enduring damage for long periods of time. The damage would charge up an explosive attack, the longer it is charged without the tank dying the bigger its explosive climax gets.
The gooner would have great strength. But only in one arm.
endurance
but absolutely bottom tier strength, speed, dexterity and intelligence/willpower
gooning requires the ultimate willpower, to deny oneself for so long that you give up everything...
yeah, i was debating whether endurance or willpower was the key stat
Their attributes would all involve doing petty crime and reporting to da boss
They have an attack that's like vicious mockery from D&D except it's called "threaten" and you deal damage by telling wise guys to mind their own business.
Your main attack is called speakeasy and involves throwing explosive home made alcohol
They excel at speed and strength in close ranges and can create zippers on everything they touch with their fists.
Oh wait, that's the wrong kind of Sticky Fingers... unless... 
Healer class, gooners are a soothing and gentle people
Str: 3,14^[use the higher value for one handed attacks and contests] Dex: 5 Con: 15 Int: 1 Wis: 1 Char: 1
what a terrible time to hate this particular phrase
Alcohol tolerance.