• Digital hoarding - I just like to collect stuff I'll never consume, including books, games, music, TV shows, movies, audiobooks, etc. I find it soothing to compile collections and a thrill to find rare and/or previously thought lost stuff.
• Filling in the lines with color - Coloring books, paint by numbers, Lake app. I get to turn off my brain and focus on the lines. I don't care about the colors that much, which leads to some pretty funky results.
• Power Wash Simulator - same as above but in reverse. I just turn off my brain and clean.
• Practicing guitar scales - Again; brain off, muscle memory on. The pain helps too. My mind wanders less when my fingers hurt. Plus it feels good when I check out and somehow still hit every note. It's like my brain and I are just passengers looking out the window of the car while muscle memory takes us on a road trip on a sunny fall afternoon.

EDIT: I should note that I suffer from chronic, severe insomnia. I'll go to sleep and two hours later be awake again. My solutions are for relaxation, not sleep.

Meditation in the middle of the day, music in the morning, reading before bed

Like you already noticed, the things you do for fun are not relaxing. Fun is important, too, but relaxation also needs to be part of your routine. You can't wait until you're stressed or tired.

I haven't found a way to actually rest properly. Closest I come is doing something which requires Littles focus, has basically no state of failure but is still satisfying to me.

For me that's painting miniatures. I can remove the paint and repaint if I don't like the result. It requires focus but for me very little and it allows me to rest my mind or listen to a podcast or music while doing so.

Few other activities work for me. Video games can work but only if the game is super chill and requires little focus like Dorfrimantik for example. Or turn based games on general such as civilization. But there is still the addiction issue you talked about.

But overall it's tough. Actually resting also makes me depressed. I need to do stimulating activities to keep my mind healthy. That issue is especially noticeable when any job makes me too exhausted or eats all my time to do my hobbies.

Wait you guys get to rest?

Part of it is pacing yourself on the energy weeks. Just because I have the energy to work 12 hours a day on a project doesn't mean I should.

Another part is ensuring I have a good combination of fun/unstructured time with friends, time with SO and time alone. In time alone I'll tend to listen to a book and play something stimulating like slay the spire.

As for rest it took me a long, long time of fighting it but eventually one day it mostly clicked for me: I'm now in bed around 1030 up around 7 and feel good at that level of sleep. I know that if I stop playing games and just watch some TV and pet the dog I'll start to get tired.

Yes executive dysfunction makes those deliberate choices harder but it's not insurmountable. I will say trying to keep myself in sync with my partner has also helped tremendously. I try to go to bed at the same time as them every night.

I don't have much advice at all, but I wanted to say that I am also struggling with this since you asked. It's been especially rough lately for some reason; I haven't fallen asleep at a regular hour in what feels like months. Unfortunately, the only few times I've been able to get restful sleep are in that depressive state, probably just from being emotionally drained.

I hope that you'll find some sort of peace/rest soon.

I'm on autopilot these days. I just stop things when it's time, even if my focus is still there. I try balance my chores so the house looks ok and I don't feel too guilty. I see people enough that I feel my social life is a thing. But I get a lot of alone time. Thats my most important time. I go to sleep usually around 21:30 - 22:30 but not strict about it. I sometimes get woken by nightmares or I'm just restless and I have a few hours awake in the middle of the night. But I eventually get enough rest on average and I manage fine.

My go to sleep routine is to cycle through Star Trek series. I've seen them all many times. It usually takes one or two episodes and sometimes I play on my phone at the same time. I watch from bed and if I wake from noise I switch it off and go back to sleep. The episodes don't autoplay, and if its been 30mins after one ends the computer goes to sleep automatically.

I take some CBD or some Weed Light or have a beer and chill. Go on social media then do all those things. LOL

This video was really helpful to me! The Struggle to Relax: Why ADHD Makes it Tough

Personally, I like to tinker with stuff - nothing that requires a ton of concentration, but just taking stuff apart and putting it back together.

If I have an audiobook, listening to that while doing a repetitive task is really relaxing as well. Things like knitting or crochet seem really good for this - I don't do either of those but I have other little crafting type things that I do.

I also like to re-watch old startrek episodes while scrolling lemmy but that feels less relaxing.

I used to do videogames a lot and that was fun but also less relaxing then the other things.

Aromatherapy, a leisurely walk, brown noise or nature sounds at low to moderate volume

Surprised no one has mentioned this yet: daytime naps.