You can just order without explaning, its a restaurant, not a CIA interrogation.
Or just order in app and not have to talk much anyway...
this post was submitted on 11 Jan 2025
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I got the joke and all, but just on the side: if you get to the till and you're still in a call with your friend about their order then you are holding up everyone in the queue and pissing off the staff.
I have done this, except legitimately, for my wife. She texted me in advance, because Chipotle is Chipotle. People know what they want when they play the "initially fresh ingredients, maintained and prepared by teenagers" salmonella lottery.
Our intrepid overeater here could have just looked down a few times and got the same benefits.
Would it be better to piss on the staff, or...?
That would still beat "Okay Charlie, what do you want?" right when getting to the till.
taking notes
resturaunt staff are some wild freaks
I suspect 90% of them don't care. The 10% that do care already judged me as soon as I walked in.
Relevant key and peele
This sketch is my favorite of theirs and never gets old!
I've gone in and ordered two when it was dead and no one was around, I just sat down and ate them at a table near the ordering line area and the staff watched me eat both of them. Nobody cared.
Pretty sure they took a photo of you. Then they hung it in the back of the store on their "Check out this guy" board. Under your photo, they wrote "ordered two, like a psychopath."
They also posted to chipotlebook, which is a secret social media platform for chipotle workers. Your photo has 12000 comments and 16823 laugh emojis.
Your photo was also shared in the Chipotle shadow council. There's a bean counter (pinto) noticing you're willing to buy two burritos and eat them in a single trip. He does some calculations, and realizes that money making opportunity here. Where the texmex realm mocked you, he sees you as his golden goose. The new "Double Stuffed Burrito" makes bajillions. He's been carrying your photo on his wallet.
The world cares more than you think.
They only start to car if you order one, sit down, eat it, then order another, sit down and eat it, then order another...
I don’t think they would care about that unless there was a long line and you left no tip.
I saw a greentext nearly exactly like this at a dominos where anon forgot his backpack inside and when an employee broght it out to his car she saw him scarfing down his ""friends"" large pizza after eating an entire large pizza in the store
They'll also never care.
I remember when that place wasn't shit and their burritos were worth it.