This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
Always keep a couple crackheads. Also, make sure you filter your crackheads. You want the ones who'll help you clean your garage for $10, not the ones who will clean out your garage for about $10 down at the pawn shop.
Promote a positive environment, help turn the crackden into a crackhome.
You joke, but the crackhead hooker next door to me in Chicago would clean my place, top to bottom, for a 20 spot. Wouldn't dare steal anything because I was good money for a regular rock.
You just have to control the rent by buying a gun and shooting in the air every other day.
Then someone will steer their drone next to you, yelling "We have been monitoring you. Disperse immediately!"
Gotta fire some rent control rounds into the air.... it's all about #balance
Now get a recording of a couple different gunshots and repeat the process. Problem solved!
just renewed my rent. It went up 30%
Flies a drone above anon
Drone speaker: "Womp womp"
That's why you befriend them instead of scaring them away.
Until the fact that you befriended them gets you fired because it scares your coworkers.
I lived in a run down part of town a few houses down from a crack/coke distributor in college and once a friend locked himself out of the car. Before we could even panic someone popped out with a hanger and opened it in like 30 seconds. Crisis averted!
Also got pulled over on my own street regularly though (“you looked nervous”) and my dad almost got arrested when he was dropping off plants (cacti and flowers).
