Asklemmy

I used to greet clothing store mannequins and thought that people who didn't were very rude.

My dad has this long running bit, that if I needed his help on something, he needed to go to the shop to get a "round tuit". I remember asking what store he had to go to, and how much it cost, and being annoyed at how he hadn't gotten a round tuit yet.

He must have thought I was really committed to the bit.

That we would live in peace

that you're supposed to show a middle finger as if you were showing it to yourself

I used to think a car direction indicator was a GPS guiding system, and not manually operated.

I thought babyback ribs were from ACTUAL Babies

That we had to pay our employer to get a job.

I thought 'tomorrow' was a day of the week. So when my mom would say we'd go somewhere 'tomorrow' I'd ask her every day if it was tomorrow yet, and she'd say no, and I'd keep waiting.

I believed that for very small creatures (like ants) time was faster.