Elon's official title in the Trump administration

I'd always call whichever cat visited me while I took a shit my "poop fairy," but it looks like I'll be updating that title.

The physical intimacy of the role naturally led to his becoming a man in whom much confidence was placed by his royal master and with whom many royal secrets were shared as a matter of course. This secret information—while it would never have been revealed, for it would have led to the discredit of his honour—in turn led to his becoming feared and respected and therefore powerful within the royal court in his own right.

Better watch out for that guy, he wipes the king's ass.

I watched a bit of Outlander with my wife, and I (way too) often think about the scene where the king of France is casually sitting on the toilet surrounded by men, trying really hard to take a shit and having no luck whatsoever. Dude thinks he's cursed or something. He's in a lot of pain. Jacobite main character speaks up and tells him about porridge. King is like, "Yeah right. The fuck are you? That's peasant food.", and Jacobite is like, "Nah. Eat your porridge, lad. It'll do ya fine."

And it did. He ate his porridge and shit so good.

Historically accurate Poopsmith. Huh.

Somebody call Mike Rowe.

Here's a related occupation, but significantly less 'glamorous' 😆

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gong_farmer

So, you think the Earl of Holland and Charles I ever played battleshits together?

To the tune of “Stool Boom”, a song in the fictional musical in the movie Waiting For Guffman (first two words only of the lyrics):

clears throat

STOOOOOOL GROOM!

One of my favorite wiki articles