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RFK Jr. Vows To Ban Soaps That Smell So Good You Eat A Little (theonion.com)
submitted 3 days ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
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[-] zib@lemmy.world 66 points 3 days ago

Dammit, The Onion got me again. These headlines lately are too believable.

[-] RamblingPanda@lemmynsfw.com 16 points 3 days ago

Not because they became more plausible. It's because reality became dumber.

[-] bitchkat@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

“Insiders have been peddling the lies that these apple cinnamon soaps aren’t dangerous, but I know firsthand how bad they actually taste."

[-] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 34 points 3 days ago

I believed it at first

[-] j4p@lemm.ee 29 points 3 days ago

This seems less crazy than the things he'll actually say

[-] HotsauceHurricane@lemmy.one 19 points 3 days ago

the onion has been on fire recently.

[-] jwt@programming.dev 12 points 3 days ago

The length of time I've seen people commenting this, makes me think they mean 'recently' on a geological scale.

[-] ThirdWorldOrder@lemm.ee 20 points 3 days ago

Stop giving him ideas

[-] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

Ah fuck almost bit this onion.

[-] Nelots@lemm.ee 4 points 3 days ago

Did it smell good? Might need to ban onions too.

[-] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago

The onion should really start hiring like crazy. They're about to start getting so much material that their staff will be totally overwhelmed.

[-] spamellama@midwest.social 4 points 3 days ago

Watch out, he's coming for scented markers next

[-] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago

Satire is dead.

[-] NoForwardslashS@sopuli.xyz 6 points 3 days ago

But if you only eat poison, the brain worms will starve

[-] hopesdead@startrek.website 5 points 3 days ago

Well it would be bad if we began eating soap. Right?

[-] pythonoob@programming.dev 5 points 3 days ago

Better than bleach... Right?

[-] hopesdead@startrek.website 1 points 3 days ago

I’m no scientist, but I think so.

[-] Infomatics90@lemmy.ca 2 points 3 days ago

I love eating Irish spring. tastes like Guinness.

[-] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

heh. keep your personal dietary habits to yourself trench head

[-] Entertainmeonly@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 days ago

You can't eat the marbles.

this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2024
533 points (98.4% liked)

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