I think I know where you're coming from on this. Linux is very cool in a lot of ways, and it is very flexible and fun to play with. But it does require an investment of learning and time to get more familiar with it. And that can be frustrating/overwhelming to face. And like you, I find the whole cult-like vibe around it annoying.

I first got familiar with Linux many years ago, mostly out of curiosity. But also because I liked the ideas of using it and the idea of having another OS option other than Windows/MacOS. While I am still not a Linux expert, I feel like I can get around the OS competently. And in hindsight I think it was worth the time I spent getting familiar with it.

Also, like you in not a pursuit when it comes to terminal use in Linux. Give me a nice UI option any day if the week. And to be fair, many Linux distro have come a long way with their UIs in the last 20 of so years.

If you just want to tinker with a solid distro that has a decent UI, I recommend either Ubuntu or Zorin. Also, I recommend trying to pace yourself with learning it. Only pick the parts that interest you, and take your time learning about them. There's no rush. Good luck.

ETA: Also, if you want to play with a couple of different Linux distros, I recommend using a virtualization app like VirtualBox. You can just spin up virtual machines and install a distro on them. And if they don't work out or you don't like them you can just delete the VMs. And virtualization is a fun little rabbit hole in and of itself.

I've only used Linux in a virtual environment to mess with, also Mint as you've been suggested before and re-suggested here, and I don't think I've touched the command line yet. I don't have much familiarity with other distros but if you're just wanting to start messing with Linux, I'd add to the pile of people suggesting Mint.

and it seems like the only people that use Linux are HEAVILY experienced with those things I just listed… HOWEVER… I’m not.

Nah. Or at least, it should just work if you boot from your USB.

Just try it.

I DO NOT want to be forced to use a terminal

I challenge you to fresh install any version of Windows and never use CMD Prompt, Powershell, or Regedit for any reason, ever.

Let me put it this way, decide if you want to fuck around for hours to get everything working as you want it (and yes, that will most probably involve the terminal or trusting random people's suggestions) or if you prefer to keep using something you know just works.

I have used zorin os and have not had to fiddle with it at the command prompt level any more than I have with windows installs.