this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2024
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The Onion

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The Onion

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[–] JoYo@lemmy.ml 234 points 2 months ago

The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.

[–] TheImpressiveX@lemmy.ml 142 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Joe Biden may be young by Washington standards

They really aren't pulling their punches!

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[–] lobut@lemmy.ca 140 points 2 months ago (1 children)

But The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.

I love it.

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 49 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Finally someone said it. I'm tired of the country of Geneva enforcing its conventions on me and how I approach wars.

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[–] hopesdead@startrek.website 119 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I guess none of you noticed the editorial board has a signature from Ted Kaczynski, aka Unabomber.

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike@lemmy.today 87 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] hopesdead@startrek.website 27 points 2 months ago (5 children)

I have never actually read The Onion, I just like seeing their headlines.

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike@lemmy.today 33 points 2 months ago

There's some fun articles. Although I think they frequently drag on a little too long for a gag given my preference for not reading more than a few paragraphs at a time.

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[–] affiliate@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

pretty incredible that they managed to get his signature even though he’s dead

[–] nexguy@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

That's only of you listen to data. Stop listening to data.

[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 70 points 2 months ago (1 children)

upset at myself for taking a whole 10 seconds to get the joke

[–] 0ops@lemm.ee 16 points 2 months ago

It took me like 15 😭

[–] BigMacHole@lemm.ee 65 points 2 months ago

I'm a Republican who Does Her Own Research and I TOLD you Libtards that Biden was still in the Race! The whole Kamala thing was a SHAM! HOW can they Endorse Biden if he isn't running STUPIDS!

[–] Sasuke@hexbear.net 58 points 2 months ago

I'm glad Americans are finally waking up. Biden may not be perfect, but he is the only candidate who can beat Trump. I'll be doing my part by voting for him as many times as possible this November!

[–] Wahots@pawb.social 41 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Lest readers doubt the value of our endorsement, we ask them to remember 2016, when voter complacency almost put Hillary Clinton in the White House before The Onion stepped in. 

We really dodged a bullet on that one! (/j)

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[–] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 34 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I'm not even American but I've already voted for Joe Biden several times. Just wrote the name down on pieces of paper and mailed them off. Adressed them to Joe Biden too, so that shit counts double. Put some extra stamps on them, and that's exponential growth in the number of times I voted for him. I'm practically a swing state of my own, the way I'm swinging my massive votes around.

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[–] thelastaxolotl@hexbear.net 33 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Im writting in Joe Biden this november biden-leftist

[–] nohaybanda@hexbear.net 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Did you forget to ask someone? hillary-assassin

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[–] Gosplan14_the_Third@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago

Based, thank you for your vote

[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 16 points 2 months ago

But a vote for Joe Biden is a vote for Trump!

[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 23 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I think Internet Explorer is in for him too.

[–] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm voting Netscape Navigator. Lesser evil.

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[–] Dadifer@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago (7 children)
[–] InverseParallax@lemmy.world 75 points 2 months ago (5 children)

You might know him for his academic papers.

[–] atocci@lemmy.world 44 points 2 months ago

Among other works

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[–] Alsephina@lemmy.ml 15 points 2 months ago

Hell yeah I'm writing him in

[–] WrenFeather@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

This is a great joke! It took me a second even after I saw the source. Well done!

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