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submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by UlyssesT@hexbear.net to c/the_dunk_tank@hexbear.net

I'm putting this here because "Star Trek Sunday" rules may forbid posting this in the Movies comm today.

In an alternate present-day "American Republic", Cesar Catilina clashes with the New Rome city mayor Franklyn Cicero. Cesar is the inventor of Megalon, a revolutionary new bio-adaptive building material he believes can change the world, and has ambitious plans to utilize it to construct "Megalopolis", a futuristic utopian city of his own design. After Cesar announces his intentions in a televised speech, Cicero leads a smear campaign against him involving the death of his wife and the post-mortem disappearance of her body in unexplained circumstances.

TV presenter Wow Platinum, Cesar's mistress, leaves him to marry Hamilton Crassus III, an extremely wealthy elderly bank CEO and Cesar's uncle. Shortly afterward, Cesar becomes acquainted with Julia, Cicero's well-read daughter. While initially distrusting and spying on him, she soon develops feelings for him. When Julia reveals herself immune to Cesar's ability to stop time, he brings her on to assist in the Megalopolis project.

At a lavish and decadent wedding reception for Wow Platinum and Crassus, Cesar takes drugs backstage. Clodio Pulcher, Crassus's depraved grandson, sabotages the show to implicate Cesar in a sex scandal involving Vesta, a teenage pop star with a virginal image. Cesar is arrested but ultimately cleared of any wrongdoing and released, while Vesta continues her career after adopting a new rebellious and sexually charged persona. Soon, Cesar and Julia become romantically involved. Cesar laments the loss of his ability to stop time following his arrest but finds himself able to do it with Julia.

A Soviet Union satellite falls out of orbit over New Rome, destroying large parts of the city. Cesar uses the opportunity to begin construction of Megalopolis, despite Cicero's opposition. In a press conference, he urges the need for debate and dialogue about society and asks people to consider if a better world is possible. Cesar is delighted to learn that Julia is pregnant, while Cicero is aghast. Privately, he pleads with Cesar to leave his daughter, attempting to bribe him with information about what happened to his wife, but Cesar refuses. Clodio begins stirring up popular discontent against both Cesar and Cicero with fascist rhetoric, while separately, Wow Platinum convinces him to assist her in a plan to take control of Crassus's fortune via hostile takeover, freezing Cesar’s bank accounts in the process.

Cesar is shot in the head and severely wounded in an assassination attempt but heals quickly thanks to a Megalon skin graft. The protests against Cesar and Cicero led by Clodio turn into full-scale riots, and Cicero flees to a secret underground bunker. After being forced from his position as bank CEO by the board of directors, Crassus confronts Wow Platinum and Clodio with a bow and arrow, killing Platinum and wounding Clodio. Confronting protestors at Megalopolis, Cesar gives an impassioned speech about the future and wins the crowd over. Clodio's protestors turn against him, and he is killed and has his body strung up by an angry mob. Crassus pledges to use his wealth to support the construction of Megalopolis.

Sometime later, the construction of Megalopolis is completed. Cicero, holding Julia and Cesar's baby daughter, Sunny Hope, promises to work together with Cesar to keep building a better future.

capitalist-laugh awooga libertarian-alert hypersus jagoff biggus-dickus

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[-] vegeta1@hexbear.net 3 points 4 hours ago

An actual line from the movie "You’re anal as hell, Cesar. I, on the other hand, am oral as hell”. i-cant

[-] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 2 points 4 hours ago

I'm waiting for the Torrent release. I'm into movies hated by the general public

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 2 points 4 hours ago

That's the MST3K spirit!

[-] Flyberius@hexbear.net 4 points 21 hours ago

This is literally just what happened during the fall is the Roman Republic. Sounds pretty ham fisted

[-] DefinitelyNotAPhone@hexbear.net 21 points 1 day ago

Gotta love how every Ayn Randian objectivist propaganda piece requires multiple varieties of literal magic to make any sense, and even then is so obviously just wankfuel for them that you feel the need to shower just from reading the plot summary.

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 14 points 1 day ago

"What if there was a Great Man, so Great that he could do magic? And all the poors and stupids and weaklings were mad about that, so the Great Man showed them. He showed them all! The end!" so-true

For some fucked up reason that also summarizes the plot of Ready Player One's even worse sequel.

[-] keepcarrot@hexbear.net 2 points 1 day ago
[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 7 points 1 day ago

To summarize a painfully long read (CW: SV, chaserism, nonconsensual mind control fetish):

spoilerThe ego-insert-of-the-author protagonist of the first shitty book is now basically my-hero in the second book, and is about as good at running the world as my-hero would be because the planet's still dying and the material conditions and internal contradictions of the very late stage capitalistic system are even worse than they were before.

The author is a hack that got rich from regurgitating cishet white dude Gen-X nostalgia shit, so I didn't expect him to explore or even understand the setting that he was presenting, but even so, it's important to emphasize that the "hero" of this sequel spends most of the runtime feeling sorry for himself for being underappreciated and disliked by the lessers and the poors that resent him and his inept leadership. So, he does what narcissists do: he gets even more self-absorbed, even giving birth to himself in a grotqesque VR experience in a way that (according to the hack author) magically granted him "empathy" powers. The "hero" then uses those "empathy" powers to effectively mind-hack potential waifus online, finding exactly what they want and what makes them tick and consequently building up a harem that way, sort of like big-yud 's "math pets" except with less coercive drugging and more internet magic brain hacking. The "hero" even gets horny for a trans person because that shows that the "hero" is actually really progressive and forward thinking and open minded in a sex pest sex touristy way!

Ultimately, the entire mess wraps up with the "hero" and his mindhacked waifu harem escaping into space and going away from the dying Earth because fuck all those resentful ignorant poors, amirite?

That's right. The heroic finale is, effectively, Little St. James in space except it's not entirely clear what the actual ages of the mindhacked waifus are. Maybe it's left up to the average bazinga consumer to fill in the blanks but the vibes were still there. epsteingelion

[-] lil_tank@hexbear.net 12 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I watched it. It does sound a lot worse when you read the plot because the movie is made in a way that makes it look smarter than it is. However it still drowns in cringe.

The reality that the US are collapsing is drenched in exceptionalism. The sole tragedy of it is that it's gonna end, boohoo. The evil of capital is depicted as individual failure. Homosexuality is suspiciously always represented in the context of decadence (worse, Julia is kissing a girl in the beginning, but everything becomes a lot cooler when she falls inlove with a man). Of course the main antagonist is a black man, but at least he can have a redemption arc, which is not the case of the overtly sexualised blond woman and her associate, a young queer man. Old cishet white men are cool however. The things that are utopian about Megalopolis are vague or perfectly achievable right now with DotP. Like, they say there's gonna be no homelessness, the least technology-related problem in the world lol. It goes on

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

(worse, Julia is kissing a girl in the beginning, but everything becomes a lot cooler when she falls inlove with a man)

Somehow, reading that just made my synapses fire in a way where they said "UlyssesT is still pissed about that "lesbian curing potion" story bit in that Fire Emblem game that also had the creepy touch pad "morale" system." tetsuo-brainrot

[-] miz@hexbear.net 17 points 1 day ago

Cesar's ability to stop time

oh come on

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 16 points 1 day ago

Randroid power fantasies require magic to work. Atlas Shrugged required perpetual motion machines and magic metal. This garbage requires yet another magic material and a shitty version of ZA WARUDO.

ancap-good it-was-me

[-] rubpoll@hexbear.net 13 points 1 day ago

I'd be able to stop time too if it weren't for the government holding me back!!

[-] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 14 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

When Julia reveals herself immune to Cesar's ability to stop time, he brings her on to assist in the Megalopolis project.

Cesar laments the loss of his ability to stop time following his arrest but finds himself able to do it with Julia.

Protagonist can stop time, this apparently is never explained or elaborated upon

He somehow still gets arrested

monke-beepboop

[-] buh@hexbear.net 9 points 1 day ago

He’s such a “great man” that he wants to win fair and square without superpowers! nerd finger-wag

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago

He only has powers when his empowered-by-sexy-sex teenage waifu is present. Just like the "auteur" that was creeping on her on-set! libertarian-alert

[-] Yeat@hexbear.net 13 points 1 day ago

I was looking forward to this based off of the visuals alone (what can I say I love some art deco) but Jesus this makes me not want to see it, I didn’t realize he was also a predator

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 13 points 1 day ago

I didn’t realize he was also a predator

He was actively creeping on people on set during the production and demanded sexual favors and was given "auteur" armor against any and all criminal charges. And still does. Because he's a treat maker and his mafia treats are holy.

[-] Yeat@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago

So disgusting. Also looked into it a little more and discovered how he defended and funded another pedophile director, Hollywood sucks :/

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 9 points 1 day ago

Hollywood is a big club, and we ain't in it. carlin-pog

[-] kickit@hexbear.net 4 points 1 day ago

there's that whole story arc in Jack where Fran Drescher's character is implied to be into a 10-year-old in a 40yo body

very weird

[-] Yeat@hexbear.net 2 points 1 day ago

Tbh I completely forgot he directed that, pretty funny to do that right after wrapping up the Godfather trilogy and releasing Dracula

[-] Dr_Gabriel_Aby@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago

I mean great man theory is probably in this guys head, he is definitely a lib.

But the plot is very clearly using the post-Sulla Roman republic as the comparison to this new America, and the “new building technique” is the comparison to Caesar taking Gaul. It’s why America has spent 250 years expanding endlessly, because it’s only way to remediate any crisis is through expansion and “free real estate”. The guy just wanted to make a movie about Rome, but it’s easier to make it about sci-fi manhattan.

[-] Hexboare@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago

Have you watched it? Given that plot I wouldn't be surprised if it was somehow worse than the plot suggests.

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 9 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I haven't and I don't intend to.

If someone does watch it, I'd be fine with hearing whether my suspicions are true because the summary is terrible as it is.

[-] Sausage@hexbear.net 9 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I watched it was visually nice, I didn’t interpret it as ayan rand stuff more as a weird rich out of touch Hollywood guys attempt to get people excited about a new very undefined kind of Utopianism. Mad Max Furiosa was 100x better and the best thing I’ve watched in a long time.

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago

I didn’t interpret it as ayan rand stuff

more as a weird rich out of touch Hollywood guys attempt to get people excited about a new very undefined kind of Utopianism

same-picture in my opinion. Ayn Rand fetishized Hollywood and that fetishization is all over her slop books.

[-] Sausage@hexbear.net 6 points 1 day ago

🤷‍♂️

[-] graymess@hexbear.net 5 points 1 day ago

Just saw it last night. Definitely the most unintentionally funny movie I've seen this year. My group of friends and the 4 other people in the theater had a good giggle.

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 4 points 1 day ago

What were the funniest moments with that in mind?

[-] graymess@hexbear.net 3 points 10 hours ago

When I Can't Believe It's Not Taylor Swift, the sponsored virgin, is exposed as a sex -haver, the scene immediately hard cuts to a music video of her performing in black leather surrounded by flames while headlines flash on screen starting with Teen Pregnancy Rates Skyrocket.

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 3 points 10 hours ago

The "auteur" sex predator that wanted this movie since 1977 must have been very pleased with that moment. kombucha-disgust

[-] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 9 points 1 day ago

Can someone explain how someone got The World stand suddenly in the middle of the plot

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Great Man Theory requires supernatural powers to make sense marx-joker

[-] Collatz_problem@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago

In Dune Paul Atreides has tons of supernatural powers and he is still caught in mass movement and unable to do as he wants if it runs contrary to this mass movement. So it is kind of a deconstruction of Great Man Theory even with supernatural powers.

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 9 points 1 day ago

Agreed. Even with some dated and outright problematic ideology from the author here and there, Dune remains one of my favorite books of all time.

It's unfortunate how many bazingas are full over-your-head about the story and just fancy themselves as being based like Paul or even Leto II.

[-] miz@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago

Coppola completing this screenplay:

monkey-typewriter

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 9 points 1 day ago

He's been sitting on this one, reportedly, since 1977. Maybe he was always shitty and somehow had enough synthesis of conflict behind the scenes to accidentally be revered for the Godfather movies.

[-] pooh@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago

I hadn't really heard about this film before seeing this post, but holy shit does it look and sound terrible.

[-] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 9 points 1 day ago

Same, that summary was one of the stupidest things I've ever read

[-] Angel@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago
[-] vegeta1@hexbear.net 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Watched kermode review. He tore the movie apart. Sounds really disjointed

this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2024
34 points (97.2% liked)

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