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submitted 4 days ago by theangriestbird@beehaw.org to c/neurodivergence@beehaw.org

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[alt text: a 4-panel comic by @introvertdoodles, which is titled "Not 'Appropriate'". The first panel depicts a child wearing a very creative and unique outfit, and their parent is pointing at them and saying, "You can't wear that to church." The child is replying, "Why? All my bits are covered." In the second panel, the same child and a grandparent are eating dinner at a dining room table, and the grandparent is saying, "You aren't excused until you eat everything on your plate." The child is replying, "Why? I'm full." In the third panel, the same child is holding a stuff animal, and a different parent is telling them, "You're too old to be carrying that toy around." The child is replying, "Why? The tag just says 'ages 3 plus.'" In the fourth and final panel, the same child is sitting across from a school principal in the principal's office. The principal is saying, "You can't argue with the teacher." The child is replying, "Why? He was wrong."]

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[-] Swallowtail@beehaw.org 23 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

As a teacher, I'm not going to write a student up for disagreeing with me. I'm sure that there are some who do (and it would be warranted if the kid started name calling, yelling, refusing to let it go if the teacher said they wanted to look into it more after class to double-check etc), but in the years I've been working in schools, I have yet to see it happen. Here's an example of what I mean:

A few weeks ago, I was talking with the class about how I study Spanish on Duolingo to help do a job of teaching my kids. One of my students spoke up and said that Duolingo sucks and won't help you learn language. He actually said it sucks, not exaggerating there. I chose to ignore the wording and just talked about how it wouldn't be good to use it in isolation, but I also study with a flash card app for vocab, read in Spanish, listen to podcasts in Spanish, and talk with native speakers in Spanish all the time. He still disagreed with me and said so, I told him it is my specific area of professional expertise to know how language learning works, he still disagreed but we moved on.

When a student disagrees with me and I'm not sure I'm right, I try to look it up then and there or consult with a colleague if it's possible to. If not I make a note (like literally write out a note then and there, I keep sticky notes around at all times) to check on it, and I'm pretty good about getting back to them. Being able to admit you were wrong is extremely important as a teacher, and it can actually help your kids grow as people because you're modeling how you want them to behave as an adult--owning up and admitting it when you make mistakes. Seeing authority figures do it is powerful!

[-] MindTraveller@lemmy.ca 21 points 3 days ago

"Finish your plate" is part of a global conspiracy by parents to raise obesity levels.

[-] flora_explora@beehaw.org 12 points 3 days ago

Maybe it's just generational trauma of our ancestors starving that is passed on...

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 11 points 3 days ago

Parents just don't want Africans to starve or something

[-] Mac@mander.xyz 5 points 3 days ago

And i still struggle with this every. single. day.

[-] RiikkaTheIcePrincess@pawb.social 31 points 4 days ago

... Okay, sorry if this is off-tone but I really wanna see more adults shining their inner cuteness and carrying around plushies >:3 Among whatever other "inappropriate" things they wanna show. I saw someone outside who had a tail and damn near jumped out the window to go squee at them 😅 Super cool.

Maybe I'll start carrying a plushie around 🤔 At least in my purse or something. ... Oh wait, I'm trans. I might get shot for that 🤔 Probably worth it. 🐭👍

[-] immutable@lemm.ee 14 points 4 days ago

I don’t know you but I think the world would be a cooler place if you didn’t get shot.

At least based off this post you I feel we are better off with you than without you.

Also my wife has a super cool possum backpack which is like a plushie but with added utility, it even has cute baby possums on its head for extra adorableness.

I’m not 100% sure that it’s this one but if it’s not it’s very similar to this one https://www.etsy.com/listing/1773594130/snug-alongs-possumopossumbaby-possums

[-] RiikkaTheIcePrincess@pawb.social 4 points 4 days ago

D'aaawwhhh that's cyoot! And a great excuse to carry around a dorbsy plushie ^.^ 😅

[-] match@pawb.social 4 points 3 days ago

we need more pride parades and they need to have plushies

[-] MBM@lemmings.world 4 points 3 days ago

Your pfp makes me see the word "pride" in a new light

[-] match@pawb.social 6 points 3 days ago

the people who saw me fursuiting at pride said something similar 🦁

[-] RustyShackleford@literature.cafe 38 points 4 days ago

All of these panels happened to me as a kid, which is likely why my dad stopped giving me any choices, my mom dressed me for church, she worked in my classrooms to “keep me in check”, and I got a cheese burger at every restaurant we went out to lol

[-] sqw@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 4 days ago

im sorry

[-] RustyShackleford@literature.cafe 8 points 3 days ago

Thanks, appreciate the gesture, my mom apologized at least. My dad, unfortunately had another son a decade ago, so I can only hope he learned something and does a better job this time around.

[-] Lyre@lemmy.ca 20 points 4 days ago

Never met a student who was actually smarter than their teachers. I sure have met a lot who thought they were though.

[-] hihi24522@lemm.ee 24 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I grew up in a rural Utah town. Here are things I attempted to correct my teachers on while in elementary school with the result of them telling me if I continued to disagree with them I’d be sent to the principals office:

Evolution does in fact exist and “monkeys aren’t turning into humans today” because that’s not how evolution works.
There are different methods for multiplying numbers (lattice)
The amount of protons in an atom is equal to the number of electrons not neutrons. Yes for lighter elements they can be the same but isotopes are a thing (yes this actually happened and the next day we watched a bill nye that said exactly what I was saying. Of course bringing up the fact I was right and she was wrong was not a wise course of action.)
If the earth was a few feet closer to the sun we would not die. The earth actually is closer and further throughout the year on the scale of a few million miles. (Asserting that this was also not proof of god’s existence was similarly not a wise thing for elementary me to do)
“Foot zoning” has been debunked and you should tell people to see a real doctor when they feel sick
Those white homeopathic medicine pills don’t do anything
If we know how disease spreads and it’s due to human action/choices then it’s not gods punishment because he couldn’t control the spread unless he controls those people.

I’m sure there were more seeing as I frequently had to “pull a card” in nearly every class and most times had no idea why what I said was wrong. There were definitely some on global warming but I don’t remember the specifics.

Anyway, it is almost certain that I would argue some things that were wrong, after all, I was like < 12yo and surrounded by people who would constantly tell me the encyclopedias I read were wrong (I didn’t like chapter books and encyclopedias had pictures) but even then, there still definitely were things I was and still am right about.

And it probably would have been better for my mental health growing up if I hadn’t thought “wow if all these adults believe this thing then it must be true and I must just be an idiot” No past me, you were right, they were wrong. Essential oils are bullshit and definitely don’t cure cancer, animals do feel pain and deserve to be treated with respect, and yes the cult you were raised in makes no sense whatsoever. Basically the entirety of your hometown, and most of your family members are just delusional. You’re not wrong and they don’t just not believe you because you’re a kid, they just don’t believe in evidence, and there’s no evidence one can use to convince people who don’t believe in evidence.

Edit: to clarify, this was a legitimate public elementary school not some weird religious institution. Its just the typical education found in small Mormon towns in Utah.

[-] onoira@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 3 days ago

And it probably would have been better for my mental health growing up if I hadn’t thought “wow if all these adults believe this thing then it must be true and I must just be an idiot” […] Basically the entirety of your hometown, and most of your family members are just delusional. You’re not wrong and they don’t just not believe you because you’re a kid, they just don’t believe in evidence, and there’s no evidence one can use to convince people who don’t believe in evidence.

for me, the thought was: 'wow, these are the people who get to have power over me? and they use that power to actively limit my potential and freedom of association? these are the people who keep clawing me away from independence, because they think they know better what's good for me?'

it made ageist remarks — particularly the sexist ones — go from irritating to infuriating. disappointment, anger and deep depression, that these people are allowed to have any responsibility at all.

[-] onoira@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 3 days ago

when you have an AuDHD student who skips lunch every day to read and work in the library, and all the teachers are conspiracy-thinking fundamentalist yokels who: haven't studied anything in over two decades; only became teachers so they could have power over children; regurgitate superstitions, fakelore and urban legends; and have no concept of information/media literacy — then it's very possible to be smarter than your teachers and get regularly put in detention for pointing it out.

their diplomas would've been better used as toiletpaper.

[-] sanzky@beehaw.org 13 points 3 days ago

there is for sure a lot of snarky students who believe they are too clever, but it does happen. There are tons of awful teachers out there. I had a science teacher who refused to acknowledge that heat and temperature were no the same

[-] princessnorah@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 3 days ago

Had an argument with a teacher in primary school that a piece of paper itself is a 3D object, whilst the drawings on it are 2D. I pointed to a ream of paper across the room and enquired how it could be that thick if the pieces were 2D. She gave me lunchtime detention.

[-] dev_null@lemmy.ml 7 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

A teacher gave us the definition of biotechnology in primary school, something like "using living organisms to make products or services".

I asked if ploughing a field with a horse-drawn plough is biotechnology and was told off for having a piss. It was a genuine question and I still don't know.

[-] TehPers@beehaw.org 19 points 3 days ago

Someone I know failed an algebra exam for using calculus to get the vertex of a parabola. It'd be one thing if the reason was that it wasn't a method that was taught yet, but the teacher straight up didn't know any calculus and failed them by saying it was nonsense.

[-] absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz 20 points 3 days ago

I was smarter than my teachers regularly; looking back, some were impressed and wanted me to do well and some were threatened....guess which I remember as the good teachers.

[-] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 3 days ago

I wasn't smarter than all my teachers, but there were a select few that were very much not the sharpest rocks on the tree.

[-] Fuzzy_Red_Panda@lemm.ee 6 points 3 days ago

It happens in religious schools regularly.

[-] Cube6392@beehaw.org 2 points 3 days ago

This isn't about smarter, this is about teachers not communicating effectively with their AuDHD kids who think a completely different conversation is going on. By framing it as who's smarter, you're misunderstanding why the AuDHD kid is disoriented in the situation that's going on

[-] kilgore_trout@feddit.it 4 points 3 days ago

I don't know, my literature teacher couldn't stop bashing on how great Emmanuel Macron was. While the rest of the class was rightfully convinced that he is a wannabe dictator.

[-] LeatherCubAndrew@4bear.com 1 points 2 days ago

@Lyre it could depend on the subject matter and material

I'm certain that my math skills were stronger than my math teacher in 7th grade given that she put me in detention for "questioning authority" when asking a valid question pertaining to the subject...

I somehow also remember that I was called dumb by the school superintendent and local special education organization by calling the figure made by putting the thumb and forefinger together a hexagon (count the sides)
@theangriestbird

[-] Megaman_EXE@beehaw.org 0 points 2 days ago

In college a few years ago I had a instructor who believed arthritis was made up in a person's head.

[-] LeatherCubAndrew@4bear.com 2 points 2 days ago

@Megaman_EXE I wonder how the instructor would react if told they are a figment of your imagination. 😂
@Lyre

[-] celsiustimeline@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 3 days ago

As a former kid, I can say sometimes kids lie and say they're full because they're well aware there's cookies or ice cream elsewhere in the house.

[-] Devi@beehaw.org 1 points 2 days ago

Tbf, the pudding goes in a different tummy, I can be savoury full but have sweet space.

[-] theangriestbird@beehaw.org 12 points 3 days ago

so make a rule that leaving dinner unfinished means you must be too full for dessert? doesn't seem that hard to me.

[-] TheOakTree@lemm.ee 13 points 3 days ago

If anything, being very strict about food intake usually leads to unhealthy eating behavior, at least according to every person I know who has issues with food in either direction. Including myself.

[-] BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk 4 points 3 days ago

Yeah, that doesn't work. Once you've finally given up and disposed of the food they're instantly hungry again 😂

[-] expr@programming.dev 8 points 3 days ago

I'd say the odds of kids doing that are pretty slim, they usually aren't that strategic when it comes to food. But even if it were the case, it's still no reason to control kids' food intake during mealtime. That's just abusive and is going to give them issues with food.

Kids are generally actually quite good at regulating their food intake naturally in ways that parents often don't understand. Adults tend to think in terms of roughly balanced meals for every meal, but kids often tend to favor one particular food at a time, achieving balance of nutrition over the course of the week. Especially when they're younger, it's often very chaotic what kids want to eat at a given time. They might love something one day and hate it the next. Their taste and palate are still developing, and it's a parent's job to be flexible rather than a child's job to follow arbitrary food rules.

[-] Malfeasant@lemm.ee 3 points 3 days ago

I'd say the odds of kids doing that are pretty slim, they usually aren't that strategic when it comes to food.

Tell me you don't have kids without telling me you don't have kids...

[-] expr@programming.dev 3 points 3 days ago

I do have a kid. We give our son a variety of foods and let him decide what he wants to eat. He eats a lot of different kinds of foods (big fan of Indian food atm), and the foods he wants to eat change from one day to the next. Treats are reserved for special occasions, mostly because those in particular can have a pretty significant impact on brain chemistry.

Forcing kids to eat is very well known to be a very bad idea.

[-] LeatherCubAndrew@4bear.com 0 points 3 days ago

@Malfeasant I'm happily childfree and know from having been around all sorts of kids (such as my violent childhood bullies) and even my mother telling me about what she did as a kid (like putting a bit of cereal in a bowl with a dribble of milk and setting it in the sink) that kids can be manipulative... the question is when are they honest? That I can never get a good read... I don't want the headache that would come with finding out!
@expr

[-] expr@programming.dev 3 points 2 days ago

This is just taking a very antagonistic view towards kids. Manipulation is learned behavior and says much more about the parent than the child.

But honestly, it's besides the point. This point is that it's wrong to force kids to eat food barring medical situations.

[-] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 10 points 3 days ago

As a neurotypical i do not relate that much to the other three but my pride gets into my way when a teacher says something incorrect. In primary school i was always given some small punishment for it and learnt that it isnt worth it but the nice thing about the high school i went to is thay teachers actually listened to what you had to say.