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The Onion misses (www.theonion.com)
submitted 5 months ago by Wertheimer@hexbear.net to c/the_dunk_tank@hexbear.net
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SHANGHAI—In an offer promoted heavily on banner ads across the internet, Chinese e-commerce platform Temu began selling Uyghur Muslims for $1.49 each this week. “The special price available during this lightning deal will lower the barrier to Uyghur ownership for consumers everywhere,” a Temu spokesperson told reporters, confirming that more than 100,000 of the subjugated ethnic and religious minorities from the Xinjiang region had been sold so far on the discount marketplace. “You won’t find prices on forced laborers this low anywhere else. When we tell our customers to ‘shop like a billionaire,’ we mean it.” Approximately 90% of Temu users reached for comment complained that the Uyghur laborers they had purchased arrived in such damaged condition that they no longer worked.

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[-] Sephitard9001@hexbear.net 17 points 5 months ago

There are two that I remember making me laugh pretty hard but I was still in school back then so I probably had a much higher tolerance for low effort crude humor. One about the Secretary of Interior punching a buffalo in the mouth and the other one about Haiti hosting the 2216 Olympic Games (a lot less funny now that I'm older and know why Haiti is poor). You're right that the joke is invariably just rewording the headline over and over but sometimes that just works.

this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2024
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