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this post was submitted on 03 Jun 2024
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“Easy things tend to become hard, and hard things tend to become easy.”
This was said to me by my mentor when I was contemplating a very difficult career choice. I have found a lot of truth in it through various areas of my life. The most striking has been watching people I knew when I was much younger who always look for the easy way out of whatever life throws at them. Over time I’ve watched how this catches up to people and makes life much harder for them because they never plan, never save, never deny themselves in the moment.
The most-predictable method I know-of, for producing inability-to-plan, is chaotic/incomprehensible parenting or home-situation:
The child learns that there is no cause-effect relationship, that no planning is going to produce any results, & this lesson alters their unconscious brain-wiring .. by the age of 7?
Possibly younger.
WHEN life is irrational & chaotic, THEN planning is wasted-effort, & only immediate-gratification produces any worthwhile results.
That sabotage-of-a-life isn't undoable.
Worse, it's self-perpetuating, generation on generation.
Breaking the cycle .. how could it happen?
You'd need to break the brokenness in the parenting, itself, & you'd need to do it consistently, for the next-generation, so they grew-up with stable & trustworthy parenting, through years of young-childhood..
how could such result be created.
No population would tolerate such alteration of their family-process, would they?
Not sure why you were downvoted. In some instances I think this may absolutely be a factor and the generational perpetuation of such an environment is hard to overstate. My spouse and I refer to it as “One Hundred Years of Solitude” after the amazing novel by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. If you haven’t read it, it follows this family in Columbia through multiple generations showing how self-destructive behaviors can be passed through generations in a self-perpetuating way. That’s an aside to say that I agree that yes I suspect that for some folks this is a part of the story.