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Lemmy is a worse platform for women than Reddit was
(lemmy.cafe)
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this post was submitted on 13 May 2024
317 points (73.3% liked)
Unpopular Opinion
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Alright, but…
Why wouldn’t the safety of women have overwhelming support? Why are we always on the back foot when it comes to discussions like these? Why is this such a ‘small position’ that women find themselves making ludicrous arguments about bears in the first place?
I would hope that a discussion of safety for any group would have majority support.
And we do know it’s not all men. There are many men who would never do such a thing. Or who have even been abused themselves.
But, according to the CDC, over half of all women have experienced sexual violence, and 1 in 4 women have experienced attempted or completed rape. With those numbers, it’s not all men, but it’s not just a few men either.
With those statistics, we can’t afford to just… trust. And the fun part? Many times, it’s someone the woman knows. So we can’t always believe we’re safe even with friends and family.
And sadly, nature hasn’t supplied us with psychic powers to know when the big burly guy leaning in too close to talk is just socially awkward, or up to something more unpleasant.
So I ask… please be understanding. Men are, on the whole, bigger and stronger than women, so a bad encounter has a much stronger chance to go very, very bad for us.
I'm on the side of feminism, I'm not arguing against you. I'm trying to get you to understand the "battlefield", because that's literally what you asked for.
Differentiate between these two groups: the people who are going to be radically against you because they're assholes and just don't want equality, and those who, for one reason or another, think that you aren't really defending equality. In my experience, the first group is much smaller, and they usually try not to have their behavior be too usually noticeable in public, while the latter is larger, more numerous, more vocal, and will receive the silent support of the former for entirely different reasons.
Let me go back here:
This, and its natural conclusion ("be cautious in situations where a potential aggressor may suffer no consequences") is extremely reasonable, and I don't think people should be blamed for that cautiousness in some situations. But getting that across to someone who hasn't suffered the same kinds of victimization that lead you to take that position is difficult, because the position they've started the discussion at is "I haven't done anything wrong and I'm being treated like a criminal!", and they aren't having that discussion in a perfectly quiet stage in front of someone who will express perfectly woven arguments, but on social media, where they fill find dumb arguments, stupid comparisons, unfair criticisms, real experiences, dubious narrations, tellings of statistically rare events, good arguments, and people spewing hate in one direction and the other, so even when you make the best possible case for your cause, people who in other circumstances would easily be capable of seeing your point, will already be angry, and therefore predisposed against it.