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My gf gaining weight is stressing her out
(hexbear.net)
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Sorry you both are experiencing this, I can’t imagine having borderline strangers call me out in my weight and then continue to sit in the next cubicle asking me about my weekend plans or whatever. What a bunch of pricks.
Most people want to feel desirable in their romantic relationship. Make sure you are outwardly acknowledging how attracted you are to them. It sounds weird and performative, but sometimes we make assumptions that our actions speak loud enough when really the other person needs more direct affirmation.
While there is truth to this and you should absolutely do it, for a lot of people(especially those in healthy relationships) no amount of reassurance can assuage deep seeded insecurities. Attraction is almost the expectation rather because it's a basic requirement for a relationship to function.
Hearing constant reassurance about attractiveness from a partner can feel like your mom telling you you're the most handsome person in the world. It's nice, but it doesn't feel like it carries a lot of weight compared to an organic comment from a stranger.
Of course, like anything there are nuances. Obviously you don’t want to come off like you are placating.
Didn’t mean to imply that lavishing your partner in affirmations will make it all bette. It’s just from my personal experiences, my partner and I look to each other for the unconditional support and affirmations that we just need sometimes.
Just to be clear, I didn't interpret your advice as anything other than a normal, healthy, and loving affirmation to your partner. I've been in numerous relationships with a partner with an ED (including my current partner for well over a decade now) though and my perspective is colored very differently.
No worries, I totally get where you are coming from, so I just wanted to clarify my statements in general.