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Queer TTRPG circles on the west coast got this fixed. I can never go back to playing in Completely straight TTRPG culture. Queer TTRPG tables will be like "Can I be a Merperson Paladin of like... Everything spiritual simultaneously and just have to fluidly sync with the nearest divinity while my hyper intelligent mouse sidekick who dresses in a Sherlock Holmes outfit causes random trouble? Oh and can the mermish language be a sign language? " and 9/10 times the answer is " FUCK YEAH! That's rad! Do you want your mouse to have a tiny magnifying glass?"
Compare that with the grognards telling me sign languages are prohibited because they are " too much of an advantage" and I am just ruined.
I recommend trying to find chill roleplay heavy groups. The tables i ran were never explicitly queer but we were open to anyone who wanted to come and have fun. It was helped by the fact that the regulars at the table would roleplay in character super heavily, but never take themselves too seriously, so it always just ends in stupid shenanigans where everyone's laughing.
We once had a young kid (<10) at the table with their guardian and when they got the final hit on a difficult encounter the entire table erupted in cheers.