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It sounds like you are plugged into some great clubs! I will say that I just moved a few months ago, and one of my neighbors is a ham who has been really helpful. She keeps sending me information about local clubs, reminding me that nets are happening, and offering to help me move my antenna from the terrible location it is in right now. I guess maybe most of the negativity happens online, since that's where I usually experience it.
that would make sense. the clubs in my area have been super welcoming and inviting to new people