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this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2023
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Asklemmy
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Its hard to put my feelings into text because my depression stems from all over the place.
A major fraction of my depression comes from my ex being toxic to me and my friends. She would ignore me most days when I would try to reach out to her and even when I was with her in person she would still ignore me this hurt me really bad because at the time I really missed her until I found out she was talking shit behind my back while I was away in Egypt and I only found out after the break up. During the relationship she would call me and come to the phone crying and would tell me her father and mother are fighting again, I would clam her down and comfort her and try to make her feel better, but sometimes I would come to the phone crying and feeling down and I was left in the dust by myself.
Every time we talk she would try to put me in my place and try to talk me down, I really didn't noticed she did that until after the relationship. The relationship ship was one sided and I would always try to make it better by reaching out to her and taking her on dates, but I feel used. And another thing after the break up she told the school that I was going to shoot it up and before I was called down to the principals's office I got a really weird text message from her
"Hey can you stop bring people into it your making it worse and not making anything better if you wanted something back you could’ve just texted me. If you don’t stop imma afraid I will have to report it" this was during lunch were my friend A was pissed off about the fact my ex said bad things to her about me, I don't remember what was said because I was at another table with the bois. When I was at the principals office he was really trying to watch his words, after my talk with the principal my ex's parents came into the office and I was like oh shit and the principal said hurry up, It was an oh shit moment then the principal shoves me into the library WHERE MY EX AND HER TOXIC FRIEND WAS. keep in mind during the relationship my ex is an adult and I'm still a minor.
Theres a lot more I could go into but for being a first relationship it tis a piece of shit. This is the main thing I wanted to get out, but theres more things I could type, but I'm tired.
I sincerely hope you find someone good. I admire that you're still willing to try your best as a human even when things uphill. People like that deserve the best.
Thanks man, I try to be the best I can and I hope you have a wonderful day