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me_irl (lemmy.world)
submitted 8 months ago by robocall@lemmy.world to c/me_irl@lemmy.world
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[-] punkwalrus@lemmy.world 97 points 8 months ago

"I was fired from my previous job due to acts of drunken sloth and a little theft. Then I spent time on my couch, doing nothing but watching Starsky and Hutch reruns in my underwear, eating cold spaghetti-os from the can and drinking warm beer. Then when the welfare checks ran dry, I blackmailed a manager at the next job. He hired me, I did nothing, but he was replaced by someone who didn't have anything I could dig up in his past quick enough. I can't work with Tom Swift Jr. there, so I am applying here. Here is a list of my demands upon hire, and some background checks I ran on you. When do I start?"

-- what these people think about a gap in your employment, possibly.

[-] fidodo@lemmy.world 25 points 8 months ago

You joke, but there are people that will actually admit crazy shit like this.

[-] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 14 points 8 months ago

I kid you not, I once asked a candidate what their greatest weakness is on the job. They then obliged with a vivid story about how they were pretty much the worst employee ever at their previous job. It was a clear "I don't know what I expected" moment, to be sure.

[-] Enkers@sh.itjust.works 13 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Not too far from the truth, honestly.

[-] flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works 7 points 8 months ago

Brilliant work, I just don't believe I'll be able to remember it all in the interview...

[-] Smokeydope@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

LMAO this is great!

this post was submitted on 25 Feb 2024
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me_irl

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