this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2024
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The company I work for started a suicide prevention initiative a few years ago. The stated goal was to have 0 suicides in a year and they sent out a bunch of performative bullshit about how we need to listen to each other vent about our problems. As if we aren't already bitching about work to each other all the time already. I was like... How about you guys maybe think about why so many of your employees want to off themselves so bad? They have yet to meet their goal.
"Why are you killing yourselves when we had a mandatory pizza party last Friday?"
"Starting today, all suicides require a minimum of 2 weeks notice. You also need to train your replacement."
I almost left my last job without anyone trained to replace me and I was the bottleneck every order in the company went through (despite being the lowest-paid employee). Just by chance, they finally hired someone part-time to take some weight off of my shoulders a month before I went on FMLA medical leave and I ended up having to quit my job while on leave. They were very close to being very screwed because the process was complex and they had just finished with a new back end of the website that was also very complex and only I knew how to do my part.
I kind of wish I had the satisfaction of leaving them totally fucked because I hated that job.
Sounds lower than the bare minimum.
What? I've worked at lots of places where people don't kill themselves. I think in my entire history of employment it's only happened once.
Yeah, people being happy should be the bare minimum is what I meant. That 0 suicides is even a goal is mad.
Ah, that makes way more sense.