this post was submitted on 23 Jan 2024
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Autism
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Every fucking morning i experience physically inertia and i am not sure if this is part of autistic inertia or even different. First to start working is my arms which i can use to sit straight. Then i grab my legs and lift them out my bed so i can sit. Then i use all the strength vested in me to push my body forward, somewhere just before i would fall and hit the wall my feet finally get grip and my leg mechanism springs in action. One of these days i fear it wont work and i am just going to fall face flat. The only exception here seems to be if for some event i wake up with pure adrenaline like my child screaming but than there are other side effects later that day.
I experience the standard autistic inertia pretty much whenever i do anything. Its such a miracle i get to be focused doing something the last thing i am going to do is breaking my flow by allowing even a single other thought before i am damn finished. I know i sound like i make a choice when i put it like that, but really its just a forced perspective to make it easier to live with my own disability.