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Changes we’re making to Google Assistant
(blog.google)
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this post was submitted on 11 Jan 2024
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Android
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Google Assistant has become so awful in the past few years.
Ok Google, give me directions to John's house
"Ok, navigating you to John's Lake House Restaurant"
Bitch, I have a SAVED ADDRESS in Google Maps titled "John's House." Why would you not assume I wanted to go there instead of some restaurant 3 hours away?
Yeah, Like, we are facing a world where faking a celebrity's voice and having it respond to everything you say completely life-like is a matter of minutes while the "smart" speaker in your house talks like a robocall from the 90s and doesn't understand a single thing when you don't adhere to a very specific command syntax.
OK Google, search for Asparagus and feta appetizer recipe
"I'm sorry, I don't know how to help with that" and then closes.
SHOW ME THE SEARCH RESULTS
Ok Google, switch off the TV.(that is in the same room as you in the Google home app)
“I’m sorry, I don’t know how to help with that”
Ok Google, switch off the TV in the living room
"There was a problem. Please try again in a few seconds"
Gnah! Ok Google, switch off the TV in the living room!!!
"Okay, 10h Video of switch off sounds is being played on the device 'bedroom'"
What. The. Fuck.?!
It’s no better with Siri.
An example:
“Hey Siri, play some Slayer on music”
“You’ll have to unlock your iPhone first”
Picks up phone to unlock with face unlock while driving so Siri will let me even use her.
“Hey siri play some slayer on Music”
“Sorry, there is no playlist called Slayer in your music library”
“Hey siri play some slayer from Apple Music”
“Okay, calling Sarah”
While I agree with you Siri is plain awful, have you tried just saying “hey siri play Slayer”?
When you say “play some slayer on music” it makes it sound like you’re asking to play a band called “slayer on music”. Which it doesn’t understand so it needs to look it up for context, which means you’ll need to unlock your phone for security.
I just tested it personally and it played Slayer just fine.
This is a more sensible answer than my anger making it work. I probably drop the some when I get agitated naturally.
Now try to get her to play last podcast on the left.
The only use I have for Google Assistant is to call people when I'm in my car, and even then it doesn't work correctly.
Wtf really. Those two businesses must keep wondering who's that number that keeps calling them at absurd times from another country and never leaves a message, because I can never remember who I must use the full name of...
Your Dad: Mr. Zealand. Mr. New Zealand.
You can tell it your relationship to your contacts and then you can just say "call my wife" or "call my dad" and it'll work.
I'm not that comfortable with the idea of giving that kind of information to Google (I'm already beating myself up for using Google Assistant in my car). Yet somehow I feel like they already know that kind of information.
They definitely know already. And regardless, Facebook knows for sure and they're 10x worse
I just asked that the other day to do what I would consider. One of the most basic tasks, add something to my shopping list. It didn't and I got to the store and it said I had no list, so I really don't know why I have them anymore except for speaker abilities
This is fucking pathetic. I used to brag to people about how well Google Assistant worked on our Home's. My wife, who is not into tech in the slightest, would do the same.
Now it's gotten to the point where it can't do fucking jack shit right anymore. It fails to turn off lights. It can't figure out devices it's connected to, it can't get media requests right, it forgets the timers it's running, etc.
It's gone from a mediocre voice command interface, to an insanely impressive Google Now providing info before you think to ask for it, to an incredibly useful assistant that I can't think of anything it can't do.... To an inferior Siri that trips over itself left and right and can't respond to basic requests anymore.
A bunch of the things in the list of things being removed are things I used frequently like 6 years ago - I fucking bought a Home Hub because of the step by step recipes. I've stopped using them for the past 3-4 years because the thing can't even get a fucking timer right so why would I even bother asking it anything more complicated. They're removing them because "people aren't using them" but people aren't using them because Google fucking broke them or they didn't know they were there.
Google is a fucking clown show at this point. They can't get anything right without ram rodding it straight into oblivion and then killing it because no one's using it.