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this post was submitted on 07 Jan 2024
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No Stupid Questions
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I had to do cognitive behavioral therapy to defeat cycles much like that. Fortunately, if you're not in a position to have a professional help you with that, it can be self practiced. The biggest take away is allowing yourself time to process it, so it doesn't occupy your mind when you're trying to do something important like driving or sleeping. Write out the angry thoughts and reflect on them, why its impractical and how you're putting yourself at risk for little to no gain. Match each negative thought with something positive if you can help it. Sure this person fucked you over, but you got to play a cool game with a buddy. They don't need to be connected but try to force yourself to spend equal or greater time on good experiences as much as your mind is trying to drag you into the gutters. Regret is one of the more powerful emotions you'll experience and you don't need to cause yourself unnecessary burdens. If you feel you're a risk to yourself or others, please seek out professional help. This isn't medical advice, just myself reflecting on my own experiences. I'm told this service is pretty decent. https://www.betterhelp.com/
Just be sure to spell out "cognitive behavioral therapy" if you search it. Other results for getting started with CBT might bring you somewhere other than where you intend to go.
This would be my advice. The books "Feeling Great" or "When Panic Attacks" by David Burns are the go to resources for CBT. Honestly I never got much out of years of (on and off) professional CBT, but books make the whole thing a lot more digestible.
For OOP, CBT might help to really understand why these particular experiences are so meaningful to them.