vestmoria

We do exactly the same job.

To me the idea of enjoying a job is an odd one: I don’t want to work, I only work because I need the money. If I had money I wouldn't work.

I don't know if this makes me the oddest person on earth, but where I am my coworkers sometimes make me feel so.

She asked me if I enjoy my job. I looked at her surprised while thinking to answer her with a regular blanket manager answer like ‘it is such a honor to work here, fuck yeah, I’d love to work here for free!’ or being completely sincere.

I was in a good mood, so I chose being sincere: ‘I don’t enjoy working, I work because I need to pay for the rest of my life, I enjoy cooking, writing poetry and walking through a forest.’

She looked at me a bit surprised and replied: ‘but you have to like your job.’ My answer? ‘As long as I earn money all’s good.’

This happened in a big room with like 9 coworkers hearing the convo.

Now I don’t know if I just committed job suicide where I work at, but it was liberating saying out loud at the workplace what I think a job is.

And why the fixation that you must like a job? It’s a job for fucks sake. Why do you have to like it?

To me this only confirms my current job is a cult. Am I exaggerating?

If every workplace is like this I should stick with the devil I know...

you be the judge: the extra, unpaid hours most people willingly do setting the expectation you do that too, some people coming in 30 minutes before the shift starts and proud of it (what for? Are you going to be paid more?), obsession with presenting a good image to both coworkers and clients, the fake interest in getting to know you, conversations that feel scripted, forcing you to share about you, controlling the way you speak, yelling at the foreign coworkers when they don’t speak English among themselves, taking your breaks together with the whole group, ostracizing you if you want to take your break alone, getting snippy if you state boundaries (“I don’t talk about that with coworkers”), some people ranting openly and loudly in a room full of people about a coworker they don’t like for whatever perceived sling, your manager expecting you to enjoy her stories (no, I don’t really care about you, Andrea), then expecting you to be the one doing the most demanding tasks nobody wants to do.

I even have coworkers complaining I waste too much paper and that’s bad for the company. Who gives a flying fuck about that Karen? I really don’t understand why some people are like this.

Holy shit, I was so naive. I don’t know if every workplace is like this, but I just didn’t question it and went along with it because 2 years ago the workplace seemed good enough and pays better than everyone around afaik. I don’t know if I should look elsewhere.

If I start applying elsewhere, do I even mention this? Because I don’t want this to happen to me again.

There is a chance this also happens elsewhere. Do I stick with the devil I know?

I don't understand his strategy, he answers the prosecutor' questions extremely vaguely. I don't know if I could act like that if called as a witness.

Is this something I should imitate when dealing with HR?

I don't understand why how he answers is not lying.

On an email with my manager I described a coworker I only worked with once as a small, thin woman that was either born in an East Asian country or has East Asian parents. I don't know this person's name. I don't see a better way to describe her all things considered.

The managers answer: it is disrespectful to describe people according to ethnic background or physical appearance.

My next question for this manager: dear manager, how should I describe this person then?

I don't know if I'm being genuinely disrespectful or this is a very thin skinned manager. Either way, I had to work with another coworker I didn't know either. This conversation with manager B ensued:

manager B: 'today you're working with mike'

me: 'who's mike?'

manager B: 'that fat guy'

make it make sense.

it's footage made by the Americans to be shown to the court and possibly to the German public to advance denazification. It begins with a map of occupied Europe and the names and locations of the main concentration camps.

I've seen some excerpts of that documentary on several history documentaries, but never the whole film.

In the film shown to the court we see some prisoners praying, thanking their saviors, emaciated dead prisoners, excavators burying decaying bodies by the hundreds, former prisoners describing Nazi torture techniques, a crematorium is shown...

Do you know the name of the footage and where to find it?

cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/3524630

former bed side nurse here on sick leave till the end of the month. I should start my new job away from patients with normal working hours on October 1st.

I feel drained, even though I eat and sleep well, the best I've slept in months, my circadian rhythm is that of a normal human being, I can cook, go shopping, I even play some hobbies now.

Nobody yells at me or makes passive aggressive or backhanded remarks for me to hear.

The 1st. of October is a week away and I don't believe I'll be a fully functioning human being by then, most probably I'll ask for a 2 week sick leave extension.

what worked for you to go back to your normal self?

cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/3500461

it was bad, but we both agree we have to talk about it.

The conversation became a yelling match where neither listened to the other, we both started ranting about the other one and left the room.

It was, however, mostly my fault, something I want to acknowledge.

I was thinking about using pauses each time one feels offended or thinks is going to yell, so we both leave the room and calm down, pauses we can use to try to understand the other's point of view before resuming the conversation. We don't have to solve all our problems in one sitting, we could explain how we see a particular issue and if we don't see an immediate solution, sleep on it, meet on another day to keep talking about it. I've also heard about using a talking pillow and not forgetting is not me against her, but we against the problem, but other than that I have no idea what to do.

I also plan to tell her I find some things she does extremely unfair because this is not a one sided apology where I'm the only guilty party.

This is a conversation to clear the air, to be sincere and to see if we still want to be friends.

cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/3497784

Example: several of my former coworkers are from Mexico, Peru and Argentina, meaning they share Spanish as a common language.

I used to practice Spanish with them, but my last charge (like a ward's manager) would yell at us to stop it, use English only. She would get very angry really fast if she heard anything in a language she didn't understand.

I find it stupid, because some of them would use Spanish to better explain to the new nurses how to do certain procedures, but maybe I'm missing something?

cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/3420358

as said previously I'm a nurse, which means the overwhelming majority of employees are women. Gossiping, being unauthentic, cattiness and passive aggressiveness is a daily occurrence.

My current unit: there are 2 men that seem to be completely stoic (I don't know what word would describe them better): they ignore drama and jabs, even if directed at them, they are punctual with their pauses, I mean really, 30 minutes and that's it, and can ignore when other coworkers lazy around, even if it means they have to be the ones doing most of the work, extra work they don't receive any extra money or recognition for.

I am writing in awe, because as much as I'd like to be this thick skinned, I am not. The feeling of being treated unfairly rubs me the wrong way really fast. My strategy so far has been to lazy around so much as my direct coworkers, even if they're part of an established group at the ward I don't belong to. They're the ones supposed to be showing me around and teach me. If they don't work, why should I?

I believe this is a trait of mine, something nearly impossible to change, it would make more sense to change the setting than trying to change me, to change jobs. I don't know how to play this game where I am, in a workplace where most employees are women.

But my question remains to all of you who are this thick skinned: how? I don't understand it. Don't you find it tiring? Doesn't it make you feel like shit when you go back home? Don't you feel taken advantage of?

cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/3415577

context: I'm a nurse with several years of job experience in several units.

I've always seen that in each unit there is a group who somehow are the 'alphas' in the unit and can make your life hell if you cross any of them, the kind of people a careerist would give attention and flatter if he wanted to climb the job ladder. I'm calling them alphas not because they're the best academically, but the best organized with the best contacts, the ones who due to these contacts get to decide who gets promoted (friends) or ignored. And management trusts them because they keep shit working.

Where I am now this on practice means they get to enjoy a one hour pause while I do a 30 minute one.

I guess some of you would tell me now to pick my battles, not to be jealous, to do my job and go home and accept I'm employed... but it's not a nice feeling. This has happened in every workplace I've been. People are tribal, sadly. This is also why I'm leaving the bedside, but people are tribal everywhere, so I'm sure I'm gonna find this everywhere I go, right?

It's sad if I want to escape this I have to feed attention to people, to fake being something else, or have you found a better way?

As said in other posts, I'm an introverted so this would be another reason to find a job where I work alone?

cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/3368394

and how do you deflect prying questions about you and limit these rituals to 2 minutes instead of wasting 30 minutes?

asking as somebody who, if not on the spectrum, is socially awkward, likes solitude, boundaries and to be left alone (to do the job)

I still believe none of your answers is going to help me because neurotypical solutions don't work for me but I have nothing to lose with this question.

cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/3347155

and what would be the point of lying?

I applied to 2 positions and got one. On both counts I shadowed for a day and was sincere.

Job 1 offered me a position I took.

Why I think the second job rejected me: I was assigned to 2 coworkers who started prying inquisitively about my job experience and expectations. I told them I don't want to go back home with back or leg pain or feeling broken, I don't mind doing my pause after 7 hours of working and not 4 but I actually NEED my pause, one every day, I also told them I don't live to work but the other way round (this is nursing).

Apparently they told management all this because during my interview with the c suite they mentioned what other coworkers think about me.

I still believe if you need a job, please do lie because you need the money. I was sincere this time because a union member told me to clearly state what you want in the beginning, so there are no uncomfortable situations afterwards.

I'm also a terrible actor, so maybe this was for the better?

This makes me value authenticity even more because one of those suites, a woman, used the strategy of faking being close to you (smiles, modulating her voice...) so you believe she actually cares about you so you let your guard down.

even though I got the other job it still stings because I was rejected for being authentic. Am I wrong?

So, in the future, do I keep being authentic or do I feed management BS? Feeding them BS always worked in the past.