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I knew it
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this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2024
319 points (94.7% liked)
Funny
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'Billionaires bodies are filled with candy and they want you to retrieve it by any means necessary': the new conspiracy coming to life online.
Is it true that when you chop off a billionaires head, two more grow in its place?
Not quite. They do die, but they will form a new head and body in hell before coming back to cause more suffering. The more suffering their corporation causes, the faster they regenerate.
Soooo.... It's instant?
For Bezos, yes. That's the reason behind same day delivery.
What kind of candy?
The best kind... You know the kind you like but way, way way better - it's an absolute must-try.
Mmmmmm, I love free and extremely delicious candy.
It's yours for the taking!
What if it's that weird salty swedish candy though?
Nothing to worry about - you'll love it!
Thats the thing. No one knows.
I love surprises, I hope I get the following:
-Salty Balls
-Gummy Skulls
-Jelly Brains
-Candied Intestine
-Twix-Fingers
Edit: Formatting
You have to crack ‘em open to find out.
What should I use?
A large stick?
A baseball bat?
A night watchman mace?
A Double Headed War Hammer XL?
Skull Flail?
A fancy pimp cane?
Gotta have the right tool to get that candy.
Omg a piñata?? And it's not even my birthday!